^^[hospitality & touRis^M] ^%^^ j@R#3N

Val day, career.

2011-02-11T13:11:00.002+08:00

jogging, voluntering. studying. working ad hoc basis.

many ppl ask me the same old thing again.... when are u finding a full time job??

is not that i dun intend to find one, but now is not the time yet.
and the next question, then when ?

i have my plan. and i know what to do, all planned it out. i kw the direction i want to head clearly.
never really wanted to tell ppl that i set goals for myself this yr to learn french, diving, etc.

these are things i want to do right now... this yr. to pursue the life i want, and not the life every person should lead.

there isnt any model of life to follow. but all i want is to travel around the world to experience and take in the different cultures.

But first, in the tourism industry, to succeed i think one need to know a foreign language. I learnt jap before but was least interested so didnt push on. but French, is a big market out there.

middle east, africa, vietnamese, some parts of caribbean islands, canada, all speak french. even if i can't find anyone to learn with, i got to get it done this yr. come on! in life, u dun have to relie, wait for others if no one is interested, cos at the end of it, is yr life. u grab hold of it.

as for val day, is isnt anything new for me. 23 yrs never had an unforgettable val day before. and ppl ask what i am waiting or looking for in a gf?

my ans in my heart: i'm looking for a lifelong partner, not just a gf, who will share, mature thinking, etc... and i will bring her to the corners of the world with her in my hands. I dunno when i will get to meet her, but one day somewhere, sometime, i kw i will meet her.

as for now, career, saving up $ for my travel is more impt.... my career esp and studies.

dec 2010

2010-12-20T19:54:00.002+08:00

i chose my own life. i chose to work in this company till 31st jan. and got to study part time too. work 6 days a week.

i realized good thing is i have no time, no time, or even the chance to think of HER- (relationship problems). haha. anw, i have no one to think of.. as in no special one that allows me to have the ''right'' to think of.

really no time. only think of earning $, and studying. but is kinda of tired recently. feel like body breakdown soon mentally. tired.

i thought i have rest enuf. and i do really want to work. but not this job scope. thou i choose this job, unlike army.

since i choose, i have to do it. dun like to give up halfway.

and what's so now just 1 week into the new job. just felt no one there to teach me. i really keen to learn and do smth.

i miss volunteering. i miss the time spent there with the kids. i love teaching them and seeing them learn something abt life. work is boring cos i dunno what i m suppose to do.

i have no time to think abt her and him together. (thou i am like writing this now, means i got think? ) i dunno... just felt too tired to think abt other ppl life now, dun even know is worth it to think/? haha... this is life i guess for me.

i chose it. i got to live it. fate plays a part in life. till that very day God, i know u have yr plans for me.

hmm. xmas is coming. but i felt nothing of the mood. rem i was drunk last yr cos i drown my sorrow, this time my fren invited me on facebk event and put :'' do u guys want to see Jaren drunk again?'' haha... that's alright with me, haha, kinda of funny... but no more jaren drunk again. never i hope. is not worth to get yrself drunk here, while the ppl u think in yr heart is enjoying herself with him. that's not the life i want.

i got to enjoy my own life. just for now, i dunno if i have the mood for xmas party or not. tired, i kw is not an excuse, unhappy of my job now. but what can i do? i signed a contract , i hate leaving things not finished. that's not me.

Jaren- jiayou ok. thou beside my mum told me this, there isnt anyone who really tells me this sentence which is so impt to me... tell myself, if ppl can do it, so can I. i will do even better. and i really want to.

i want ppl to know how the real jaren will succeed and not being laughed at.

i would still want the blue NEW ZEALSND passport... i envy so much of the ppl live there, when i see small kids there with NZ passport in their hand, how i wish i am into their soul. the country is simply amazing, in the countryside, doing tourism jobs, no stress (or not as much, enjoying greeting ppl, that's what i love to do... )

that's my kind of life i want to lead , Jaren.

reminder to myself- Work hard, work towards blue passport, work. work towards it Jaren.

Jaren Jiayou!
Jaren You can do it!
Jaren, u can acheive all the goals u set for yrself!
Jaren, you would be successful one day in terms of my own measurement of success.

come on Jaren, be a fighter, never give up!

love isnt something i crave abt it now i guess. success and living in NZ is my current goal.

love. broke.

2010-12-08T03:07:00.002+08:00

Dear blog,

A few hours back, I met my old friend in a group and the girl good friend told me : '' Do you know 'P' is attached? ''

in fact, i didnt really know cos i didnt keep track of her facebk status. but i admit all the time now and then, i did think of her, hope she's living well.

Heard that she's very happy now, and she is together with 'C' . wow. i know 'P' do liked him before they went to swiss to study... and now in USA doing internship with him.

I gave my best wishes to her then and am glad she's coping well there. We never really contact since she leave for S'pore on 1Jan2009. Guess i still remember the very day that she gave me a call and told me she didnt want to get into relationship and that i was a nice guy and so on...

actually, i wanted to tell you, i didnt really so interested in being a nice guy, i just wanna be with you. but i know is all too late, the timing was wrong. u were leaving for your overseas study and he is there together with u at the same course.

i remember u told me u werent ready for relationship but guess u told a white lie then... i knew u liked him. Remembered giving u the diary in front of him, which i least expect it. did u even know how tough it was for me just to do that diary, i was crippled at that time... but still did it.

thou i have no regret. i have given my best shot. guess we werent fated. i fall in love with her just too late.

In the case of 'M', at least she came clean to tell me how she felt but that wasnt you. thou i never blame you, but i hate ppl who lie. if u like him, just tell me. there's no need to tell me long story.

but knowing u living well now with him, i just glad for u. jiayou! i remembered saying that to you in most of my sms to you... guess i will still say it to you in my heart.

good luck. u have actually woken me up in a way. I woke up knowing i cant be in that state, i got to work hard for my career. i have been focusing on my body from then on, and in my path career and study....

is time for me to work hard now. when it comes to love, guess timing and fate plays a huge role. i was never lucky or never good enough in those last 2 cases. i swear if i ever meet the CORRECT one as the palmist told me, i will give my best cos i know what to do if given a chance.

good luck girl!

22 oct!!

2010-10-22T17:03:00.002+08:00

finally, the date has come. sobs of tears rolled down my face when i was in the car driving out of the camp. one last look at my camp, bye in my heart, that's it.

enuf of my 2 yrs in there. enuf of NS. now i have done my part as a male citizen.

is time to do things i really love to do. New zealand trip will be the first out of many that i will embark to do.

1 yr ago, in 2009, i was on the bed at this time @ CGH hospital. after my leg operation. feeling lonely, moody, sad, pain on my leg. thinking of her.

1 yr later, ORD! got my pink IC back... back on track to where i paused in my life. time to resume and now definitely with more jest. army taught me time is precious, dun wait,act. that is why i am going on my NZ trip in 2 days time. i acted upon it. and draw out goals for myself. i know i can achieve it!

i just saw her photos on fb with him .... they are very close. Jealous, i am not. i just feel maybe time was not on my side at that time. I was never presented with the opportunity. I had to serve the army when he has completed his NS and go studies and now internship with her. Maybe god has other plans i believe. it makes me more determine to treat the one, the truly and only one better if I have find her in the near future. If it really mean that i met them on the streets one day, I will surely go up front and shake their hands and give them my fullest blessings.
knowing that she is well taken care of, I'm glad for her.

ok. back to my ownself. Jaren! now that I have ORD, i will now put words into action. SURELY.
jiayou for myself. pat on my shoulder. If i can wait for this day for 1 yr plus, I can surely put everything into place for myself, my life, my career, my family, my love, in place. I WILL.

DATED 22 OCT 2010

ORD!!!!

2010-10-17T04:53:00.001+08:00

5 more working days to ORD, finally!!!! happy deep down in my heart.

lazy to write blog. below attached is an email i wrote to my good friend, Brenda.

hey dear

hmm... all of a sudden, i cant sleep after seeing the photos on facebk.... i thought i shld be fine, i thought those photos ''he'' was not inside... but he is... i saw pamela photos on facebk.... and she has moved to USA for her internship.... good that she arrive there safely. i dunno when she was suppose to fly there, but guess is now on fb ''day 1 USA'' guess she just arrived there ... i saw ''him'' in the fotos... last time, she asked me if she should do her internship, and i told her do what u thing is right... but now i saw ''him'' in USA with her, although they are in a group, i somehow felt that is it becos of him? she is in USA? when she will come back in sg? but evne she is back in SG, we didnt contact each other.

makes no difference. thou in my heart, i would really want to ask her '' how she is recently, seriously, not the kind of standard ans like ''i m ok''... i wanted to know how my fren is doing in other countries... but guess when i send her a message on fb, her ans i can feel is not so keen in answering. short ans. guess i m a little sensitive. maybe.

but somehow or rather, i feel like asking pam, just a casual question, nothing else, i wonder where is the winnie the pooh soft toy i gave her, the diary i hand make for her, the letter i wrote for her... is it dumped under a bed in SG, or is it thrown away/lost in Swisszerland (ok, guess she dun bring it at all in the 1st place), or is it in USA (highly unlikely), how's her dog

anw, i did wish her before and it remains the same, as long as she is fine, guess that's enuf. i saw maltida photos too on fb the small display pic... i didnt want to click her profile page, cos i know it will hurt too.. haha... (suddently, i feel like loser) anw, glad that she is happy and fine with Keat. Saw her once on the street, she look rather gloomy, thought she have a fight with keat, but lucky keat treat her good and she's happy.

what is yrs, will be yours, what is not, will never be.. the same applies to you and me and everything. i have tried and fail. but at least i try. and i learnt from it.

and ya... i remember is yr singing audition, how is it.... have confidence getting into next round? shouldnt be a problem for u ya bren! jiayou! jiajun jiayou! bambi & aiko jiayou too.. haha. i wanted to sms u that day, but i didnt cos i afraid it will distract u or maybe even worse, when u perform, the sms ring tone goes off.... (maybe i think too much, where got so qiao... haha, but i did think at that time)

anw, 5 more working days to ORD!!! my pink IC is back to me on This coming FRIDAY!!! 22/10/10... my freedom! seriously, i miss my IC so much... the privileges come with it. i have never feel respected in my army life, never, till now i am the most senior servicemen there, is the same. the juniors are very bitchy batch. only a few good ones I feel comfortable with. and i will forever remember those who help me when i am down at that time... in year 2009, is the worse year in my 22 yrs of life.... many things happen, ah ma health scare, my 2 operations, heartbreak relationship, mum didnt do well in work, financial problems, nv felt being respected in army, was scolded many times and laughed at behind....

but it did wake me up in Dec 26 when i was drunk during xmas party at my fren hse, read self improvement books, motivate myself, and set goals for myself in years to come... and i m happy to say that most of the goals set in 2010 i have done it, except 2 of it. thou yr 2010 havent end, so i cant count my chickens before they hatch. but knowing that what i wrote in Jan, now it seem to be working towards it... slowly but surely.

recently back from my holiday in Hainan Island, china, the floods there terrible. i saw chinese armies, marching on the road, trying to save ppl, ppl on top their roof trying to get rescue, i think these are all images we singaporeans can only seen on TV news. but when u see it in real life, u can feel it much more. Singaporeans dun bother much abt news for youngsters, they bother more about how their facebk games are going abt... such a differnt mentaility.

i saw huge tourism potential in Hainan Island and Sri lanka the last time i went, i dream of opening resort ya... so much untapped potential i feel... from these 2 places... apart from elsewhere. the market and demand is there.

anw, 7 days time, i will be flying off to New Zealand.... for my dream holiday. this is my goal actually i set for myself, and i have action on it, having been the planner from the start till now... and next week, is time for me to execute and make sure things go smoothly.... as plan if possible.

i shld be going to Indonesia with my friend, but now he told me he is busy earning $.... disappointed. guess is nv easy to arrange overseas trip, only a short trip to Batam also cannot.
so i planning to go Miri-- East Malaysia, fly to Kota Kinabalu then fly to Miri, caves walking. world famous caves with my mum. guess she is now the only companion in travel. lol.

sometime, i am also human. like now so late 4.50am... i dunno who to call and talk to... so i wrote this email. how funny is that it reminds me of Maltida saying call her whenever i need someone to talk to... but also not right, how shld i talk to her... will be a crazy guy if i call, she has her life to lead... :)

reply me ya... hope to see yr email before i ORD and fly off to New zealand.. =) long time din hear from u....

take care dear!

you

2010-03-10T21:40:00.002+08:00

today, i met someone looks like her. but i knew it wasnt her... cos she is not in sg.

but she really looks like her... or is it becos i miss you so i thought she looks like you?
and that lady is already 29 yrs old plus, but when she was talking to me, i was kinda of thinking that it was you who was talking to me... till she spoke about her hubby also in the air force....

i know i shldnt miss you... cos u have yr life, and i have my life to live on... hope she's doing fine there... i wonder is she? i would standby every word i said... as in whenever u need someone, i'm sure i will be there thou i know it won't be those kinda of relationship... standby what i said in the diary, need a listening ear, i will be there.

work. her. study.

2010-03-07T21:56:00.002+08:00

dearest blog

recently, i just signed up for this degree course offered by SMA... Murdoch University, Perth.

I was looking thru the brochures i collected over 3 yrs... and realized last time, i used to think and want to go university... at swisszerland.. but now is an australia university. and it reminds me of HER, doing her study there now.

wonder how she have been. i woke up at 6am... and thought of her.. and couldnt sleep after that. i try to shrug it off the thought of her. i really did tried. seems like it comes back again. in the past, used to be 'M' . Now its 'P'. tell me... when would I do it away...

I just wanna hear how she have been doing over there for the past 3 months... saw her photos on fb with i guess is him.... really together? if so, guess is very romantic in Europe. wish her all the very best, thou it really feels sourish. but i had tried my best jaren.

god has his own arrangements. really wanted to ask her, how are u recently? but maybe she wont reply, maybe she will be too busy to reply. and i wonder the two things i gave to her, where's it? Is it hidden in somewhere in her cupboard in SG? or is it with her in freezing swiss? or is it in the dustbin incernator ... long disappear from this world.

I just wanna say :'' good luck girl''

8 more months Jaren, to begin a new chpt of life after NS... come on quick.

2010-02-19T23:45:00.002+08:00

hey blog,

today i got scolded by my officers today... i knew it was my fault, and i admit it... i find no reason why i cant do this job properly... is like such a simple task... come on Jaren, you can do it and show them what u are ya!

I want to be rich, successful... and i gotta to improve. true, this is not my job that i like, but i got to serve the nation, so endure it.

love to find someone anyone to talk over phone... it has been hmmm... 4 yrs since i have a heart to heart chat with someone over phone.... seeing ppl chatting with their gf over phone, reminds me of the time....

but i know god has his plans for me. i will wait till the very day.... i will wait if the next one is the correct one... i am not interested in getting many gfs, just one that will hear me out, encourage me .... likewise, to god, i promise i will do it for her...

81 more shift work to do... before i come out from army...

next tue, i will be volunteering at this Ubi home for the less intelligent people.... kinda of looking forward... sharing my love and helping these less privileged ppl out....

2010-01-25T22:02:00.001+08:00

Dear blog,

I hate my time now... i dunno what i am doing for now. i just know i want to ORD now god. give me the power to substain on..... tourism travel industry, is where i want to head into.

Endure. 9 more months

2010-01-22T10:32:00.003+08:00

Dear blog,

Now that no one knows i am updating my personal own blog- diary, is time to write down my inner feelings.

Maybe the reason that humans write blogs partly is for others to view... but for me, is for myself to view... to see the changes i made over the years. And i will share it with ''THE ONE'' if she wants to see it in the future.

Ya, although I may have never really being in a relationship, 22 yrs... but all I know and I need is just a girl. A girl who appreciates my love back. One is enough, as i Dun understand why guys say need to have more girl friends and then choose from there... they say is a lesson learn from each relationship.... i agreed to an extent. but as for me, is difficult to fall in love with a person.... as everytime when i liked a girl, i realize it has always been too late for me.

Time is a critical factor. and I hope each time God has his plans for me. and i believe in it.

as for now, i cant wait to ORD from army. To be frank, i feel so different inside camp. That is not the real Jaren inside. I feel so lost inside. and really hated every single moment of time inside. Time just pass so slowly in it. Spoken with my mum, and realized she say something which perks me up abit.... ''It's just not my passion in the job i am doing for my NS. Endure, and bite it... it will be over in 9 months time. ''

Seriously, is not my passion in it. what i want to acheive in life is to make my mark in the tourism / airline industry. not in the air force. I am not stupid ya, although i know people in camp may think i am. Its always jaren when things go wrong. but once out of it, i will embark on my own dreams. to accomplished my goal.

Army makes me realize the importance of time. I have lose 2 yrs i feel.. and i will make up for it when i ORD. I would work hard to earn the lost time & $$$... and most importantly, pursue the life I have drawn up in my mind. I WILL DO IT YA! will prove to people who doubt me that Jaren will be a successful guy one day. An interview on papers with Regional General Manager for flight operations: Mr Jaren Chen.

Will go all the way to prove people. just not my cup of tea in my air force vocation now. Missed the happy times at airport working. I hope to be back some kind or rather in the airline industry.
PASSION is the most important in career.

Recently, i hope to say i am on track in my own goals i set for myself this year 2010. volunteering at the disabled home, that's what i love to do. remain in contact with the personnel, am just waiting to know my schedule then i will commit to volunteering. is just what keep me going during this army time. I gotta do something and love to give back to society . :)

JAREN, JIAYOU! I can do IT! (diving in May?)

my buy for 2010

2010-01-13T16:24:00.006+08:00

Draw out a list of items I would want to buy in this coming JUNE 2010 S'pore sales.

I know is still so far away, but this time i am looking forward. Cos i feel is time i will fly out in year 2011. is time i changed the image and the the things i want now.

List of items:
1) Bagpack Bags-- for me to travel around the world with.

Budget: $170
2) Wallet. I need one with slots for me to put my credit cards, membership cards, license, NRIC, Ezlink card, okay... let me see. about 8 card slots. and for me to put my coins.
Budget: $60

3) Belt. I seriously need a good looking kind of black belt officetype that i will wear with the kinda of office outfit.
Budget: $30

4) Long Sleeve clothes & pants. Just buy one set first. Budget: $80
4) Covered working shoes.
Budget: $80

4am

2010-01-07T04:45:00.002+08:00

4am

and i am awake once again at this weird hour... where most ppl are asleep. all of a sudden, i dunno why i began to count the time over in Europe, thinking of the things she must be doing now.

i dun want to be so emotional now really. i love to change. but everytime i would think of that. wonder how she has been doing. see on facebook her friends say miss her.... do u know, i also so much wanting to tell her, i miss her too. I MISS U... i dunno why did i fell in love with you too at the wrong time. it has always been the wrong time for me in both cases. tell me god, when would be the correct time, then i would say finally.

so much to say in my heart to her. but i couldnt say of cos. i dun want to keep in my heaer those things... but yet i dunno where i shld throw those words away... i hate facebook now cos i sometimes get to see her pics there... enjoying herself.... yes, i am happy that she is happy... but with the other guy there... very strange feeling.

remember the day when i gave her the diary i made for her.... it really took me much effort. i remember i was a cripple that time yet i still went to buy the diary and made at home... the efforts everyday sitting down... sometime as long as 7 hrs... just to do the diary. i tried my best, was happy each time i sat down doing it. thinking how and what to say to her when i gave her...

but the reality always the opposite. when i gave her at the crowded shopping mall, not the ideal place i thought of giving her. and so crowded at that time cos is xmas period. ppl happily shopping while i bid farewell gift to her. and most digusting thing is i gave it to her in front of her boy she likes.... so weird. i am sure the boy is laughing at me in his heart. i am not dumb. so i am like a fool.... again?

if i am given a chance, do u know how much i would do.

becos of her, my close friend was angry with me. and now, i really want to change. but i need time to recover. i want to recover now too really, but i just can't.

blog. best way to let my feelings pen down. i dunno.... god, i always trust in him. he will guide me to the happiness path and find the real girl i really deserved. till the very day i find the one, i would love the one alot. really. swear.

today date: 07 jan 2010. time flies, 2010 already. how long more god?

22nd birthday

2010-01-02T07:51:00.002+08:00

Year 2010.

Happy birthday to myself, is 02 jan. today, i will be at home on my birthday. someone ask me how i gonna celebrate my bday... i didnt answer this question. cos i know i will be at home.

1 yr wiser, wishing myself happy birthday. Guess all my friends are busy with their own lives.
On the day of my brithday, she leave for her studies. Many things in my heart wanna tell her. but I knew i couldnt say out. Wishing her all the very best in her life and really hope she will take care of herself, which i know she will since she's so independent.

how issit to feel when the person u love leave u on your birthday. I know it sounds stupid but really love to hear her wishing me happy birthday, is all that matter this year. but of cos she didnt and on board the plane now to her next destination.

who says birthday cannot celebrate alone at home? Save $ too ya. haha. i dunno if i am kidding myself or not, but 1 thing for sure. i live for myself Jaren. I have a simple wish every year i made, i dunno when it will come true. but if really come true, i will really treasure it alot.

It hurts, but I'm gonna stand up and get my own life going. no way i am going to put myself in this state. at the very least, i am an able person. thanks god for that.

God has made plans for me i believe. Maybe is becos of such birthday that i went thru, i will treasure it when the right birthday comes for me in the future. when, i dunno. but wrote this blog becos i hope the next bday or every bday, i am able to reflect what i wrote in yr 2010. and hope i have fufilled my just a simple wish.

Jaren 22nd Birthday. 02/01/2010

love ...

2009-08-31T23:50:00.002+08:00

Life comes and goes.
As I shuffle thru my life of 21 yrs
All of a sudden, I pause and notice my surroundings

At the end of a day,
We humans naturally need someone who listens to our inner feelings
It can be our soul mate, someone who we know she/he will be there when we fall
Likewise, knowing you can make someone day more meaningful,
It certainly perks you up

It maybe just a simple phone call
Just some smses
But is the little things one do for you
That you realize they do care

You're not living alone on this world.
You are living for a reason.
For a good reason, you're on this earth.

Simple words like take care
Encouraging words like jiayou
They are all just words
But they mean a lot if it is sincerely coming from the heart

At the end,
We are still living things.
We need to receive and give love
And know someone will be there for you

I may use to think money was everything
But as I go around my life nowadays,
I take little pleasure when i am able to help people
Simple things like opening door, small donation

Love is in fact almost everything.
I realized i have been actually avoiding it.
Now, i would like to embrace it myself.
But i wonder if i would have the ample time not.

LOVE

volunteer.

2009-07-27T18:10:00.000+08:00

life is for us to do, to give back meaningful to the society... one day, a boy ask god:'' why there you not doing things to help the needy people on this earth?'' god reply: '' that's why u are born normal, to help the world, not me. ''

this sentence further inspired me to be a volunteer. going for quarterly donating of blood, knowing you may help to save precious lives... knowing u are being valuable to the society. helping elderly with cleaning of their 1 room flat, made me realize in this world, so many needy people need us. why not just spare a bit of our time to help them out ya. is only 5% of our time.... if i can do it, i know everyone of us can do it.

helping elderly or rather accompany them to hospital for medical appointments,and delivering food to them.... makes me =)

life is enriching. we take from society, so we ought to give back. love.

if right now u are reading this and wish to voluneer too... go to this website maybe u can help...

http://www.tcs.org.sg/make_a_difference/volunteer_opp.html

2009-05-04T20:26:00.000+08:00

unhappy.
i wonder how long it will last this feeling.

feel so low abt myself.
tell me, am i really that lousy?

2009-04-28T20:47:00.002+08:00

i know to some people,
the job maybe easy

but to me,
i am struggling.
u can say i am slow
but i have try my best

no one seem to know.
the difficulties i go thru
I admit i may not be the only one
other may have been thru it in the past

but i am the worst
people almost gone mad becos of me

i never want to be like this
yes, i am slow
i am trying my best, do u know?

i am so tired now.
people may say this is simple
but not to me.

i do understand
i have lots of obstacles to go thru
many many more

my mind are just too stress now
i know i lousy
am tired now. am feeling sick.

god, are u listening to my prayers?

love

2009-04-25T16:51:00.002+08:00

I hold onto your body
And feel each move you made
Your voice is warm and soothing
I wont forget the way we kiss

Cause i am your guy
you're my girl
Whenever you reach for me
I will do all I can

Even thou there may be times,
It seems I am far away
But I am ready to learn,
The power of love.

My friends keeping telling me
If I really love her,
Set her free
And if she returns in kind
I will know she is mine

So tell me where do I start
Cause it's breaking my heart
don't wanna let her go

Maybe my love will come someday
Only heaven knows
Maybe our hearts will find their way
Only heaven knows
All i can do is hope and pray
Cause heaven knows

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you never leave me
The touch of your hand say that you catch me whenever I fall
you say it best when you say nothing at all

If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you

If there were no tears
No way to feel you
I would still feel for you

Even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
you would still have my heart until the end of time
Cause all I need is you, My valentine
you're all I need, my love

2009-04-16T21:06:00.002+08:00

Alone

How I want this 2 yrs to past quickly.
Tired of everything
Just want to live a normal life, civillian life.

Just want to travel out of this S'pore.
To explore the big world out there
Where is much slower pace,
LIfe goes on slowly,relaxing, overlooking moutains, oceans

That's where i know i will be truly happy.
Have been turning to god thru this period of time
Counting on him to lead me on, thru this period

I just want peace and quiet,
All of a sudden, the jest i have in life lastime,
It all just turns down...
Maybe i am really so tired now.

I just want to put to sleep
With a blink of eye, i hope it will be over soon.
How long more, i have been counting the days.

Alone. slient. i am kinda of getting use to it.
God, Can you hear me?
I'm seeking for your guidance.
Show me the way, i will walk it thru.

sad

2009-04-01T19:58:00.000+08:00

i wonder what is the feeling of death
i wonder if i just leave this world
i wonder if i have the courage to do so
i know is also quite silly to do so.

but i wonder,
if i die, if, ....
i'm tired.

i know is an excuse.
but really i am.

should i just say bye?
i cant do that,
the consquences,

but i wonder other than my family,
if i really die,
would anyone actually care,
what i would appreciate most is just to say
Jaren is a great guy.

other than that,
i now ponder if i just jump,
will my troubles jump/fly off too?

sad.

relationship

2009-03-26T20:59:00.001+08:00

What does a woman want in relationship with their bf?

I recently learned:
For a Woman, the essential needs are:

1) Affection
For the guy to show affections, care and concern, feel the love and bond.

2) Conversation
A very important point. When a guy is going after a girl, he tends to listen to whatever she says, her life, her day, her everything, The purpose of doing so is actually, to get to know the girl better, to find out what she likes, what she needs, what she dislikes and all. Through talks like this, a guy could realise what are the stuff the girl likes even without asking a girl directly, " what kind of movies do you like to watch?" or rather, he could just find out with a girl's conversation, " On, i watched xxxxx with my friend, and its a really nice movie, very romantic". And thats when the guy would pay attentive attention to the girl, in order to go after her.

And im many cases, when both parties start off and went into a relationship together, slowly and gradually, they tend to communicate lesser, having lesser (in-depth) conversations. But have you thought of why communication is so important in a relationship? Because with conversations, you are actually conversing your needs and wants to your other half. Such that, your girlfriend says, " My friend and her bf went on to this place and said that the food and ambience is really great!" - it shows she hopes to have a chance to visit there to taste the food and enjoy the ambience, or " today my boss scolded me in front of my colleagues.." she hopes that you will be there with her, cheering her up, be by her.

Without conversations together, how are you supposed to know and find out what he/she needs? Needs and wants are changing everyday, and when a guy is chasing a girl, he perfectly understands what she needs and wants, hence, things are so smooth and sweet. Thus, when they are together, they made lesser effort to have conversations and thats when couples drift apart, couples quarrel. And also, don't you think, by conversation, you are actually showing affections at the same time? showing concern at the same time?

It is also true that, a girl might have her girlfriends to share her problems, her life, (since u guys might say, girls talk etc) and have a guy thought of that- when a girl be with you, she is also actually choosing you to be the BEST Friend of her best friends? Cause she wants to share every part of her life with you, wanting each other to understand and share everything together, fulfilling each other's needs on the way. And as time goes by, any expression of yours, the girlfriend would be able to understand straight away, knowing what to do & how to cheer you, how you feel, understand you completely, be with you, supporting you with whatever you do. And you'll be surprised how much she can understand you, even more than your parents, your bestest friend(s).

And i guess in many cases, the guy tends to not show interest in whatever the girlfriend might be saying, such as " i went shopping with my gf today and i bought xxxx and xxxx etc" which the guy might think its nothing important, boring to hear and all, but actually, the girlfriend is conversing with you, and you never know, you might actually get to know certain needs and wants of your girlfriend through those conversations. And research actually showed that, a guy should actually have 15 hours of conversation with the girlfriend per week. (dont be shock, you will understand later again).

Also, when the guy stop showing interest or just giving a slight acknowledgment when the girlfriend is trying to converse, it is obvious showing that the guy is not interested to listen, and the girl slowly shares all these with other people instead. And thats when the worst come, couple drifts apart, and the girl found a guy friend to share her stuff, and slowly, she shares with him cuz he would listen attentively. And when a huge quarrel happened between the couple, the girl might even call up the other guy to sob to him, complain to him, and perhaps, the girl might feel greater concern and interest from the other guy, hence, it would harm the current relationship between the couple.

3) Honesty and Openness
Females want the guy to be honest and open with her. As much as how these two words sound so simple, TRUST AND SECURITY. it is something so important in the relationship, that, even if you ever spoil it a little, it causes HARM to your relationship.

Share with your girlfriend everything she wants to know. Be open with her. There is one sentence I feel that it is so true so true- " Just Tell your girlfriend the truth, A female is much stronger that you think she is when hearing the truth" Sometimes guys might just think, telling a white lie, telling partial truth or not telling the girlfriend might make it bettter, might prevent unnecessary quarrels and might prevent causing the girlfriend to feel unhappy. But yes, i do agree very much, girls are much stronger to take in the truth and hear the truth than the guys think they are.

Telling partial truth, telling white lies, telling information that is not false but NOT accurate, is also considered not telling the truth. Girls want accurate truth, the word is accurate.

2009-03-22T12:06:00.004+08:00

AR, i cant wait to go on holiday!~ 1.5 more years to endure, before i can travel freely... i am so looking forward to travel..... any where, anyone?

feelings

2009-03-22T11:30:00.003+08:00

I'm a lonely soul walking down the hall way.
Looking at my peers, thinking about my future
Some have regretted gotten into replationship.
Some say they will never get married.
Some say they are madly in love once, but now they lost hope.

And for me, I'm not rushing thru picking THE ONE.
Neither am I going out to look for THE ONE.

Recently, i went to a park and all of a sudden,
I thought of bringing her along.
but i smiled to myself and looked beside me,
it doesnt matter after all i think.

At times, live can be relaxing when one just stand & observe how things are changing
How things evolved, how people get along with their daily lives.
Watching innocent kids running along the field,
Watching dogs wandering around the park
Dogs looking at each other
Makes me realize dogs like humans have feelings after all.

I do admire people who travel alone out to the big world.
Seriously, I dun think i have the courage to travel alone
but considering that a girl would do that,
I am pretty amazed as she's a Singaporean.

With this in mind, I dun see the worries of travelling alone.
Maybe i should do that after all.
The world is so big,
It has always been and will always be my dream to see the world.

Although i say India is enough for me,
but actually i do still want to visit this colourful country.
Full of lifes, full of eye opening experiences.

My friend wanted to visit India,
But i have no idea like people who went India before,
We say the same thing.
Once is enough for India.

but i do sort of take back my word now.
Cos to a traveller, all place are worth a visit no matter what state it is.
India, surely i will go back again.

2009-03-12T20:06:00.002+08:00

Air base. home. Airbase.

cant wait to learn everything and know it well. then, i am able to work on shift. and it mean work 1 day, rest 2 days. yup, sound nice ya. work 24hrs there.

i know it sounds nice and look good, compare to some other guys serving their national service. in terms of working environment, i cannot say much. and will not say. but ya to me its like wow. full stop.

dun think i can blog a lot now, cos things that i know, i cant say. =X

but i only like to meet up with my friends now. i treasure friendship a lot to me. love to meet up with my BMT army guys, my air force course the guys i went through with... the interns from LRM, my batch of interns at airport, project friends and even LMP gang. pls do sms/call me up if u are free. cos for friends,i will make whatever time i have to meet my friends.

anyway, i really havent been to a cinema for nearly 1 year. the last time i went was in March 2008?

life

2009-02-22T21:03:00.002+08:00

just visited my old aged 95 yrs old ah ma in the home for the aged... i saw her lying down there, with breathing difficulties. it made me realize one thing. what is life?

life isnt for us to enjoy? how long can one person live? So it makes me think that despite now all the things i have to do, be it passing exams, serving NS, earning $, at the end of the journey, what do u want to leave on this earth. that is the crucial point. it's isnt the things u accomplish, but the legend u would want to leave behind.

seeing how my ah ma lying there in her bed alone with others old aged ppl, it made me feel that i should appreciate my life more now that i am an able person. i can walk, can talk, can hear. i should be glad and appreciate for it now. Maybe i view things from a different angle, but i am not interested in the latest fashion, the must have bags, the must play games, to me, we should explore this world more since we are given an opportunity.

NS, tests, exams, practical, its just part and parcel of life. at the end of life, i know what i want to leave behind. for my children to remember.

someone ask me if your mother and wife are drowning, who would u rescue (1 only)?

my ans: I would rescue my mum because she brought me onto this earth, making me realize the beauty of love for humans. My wife would be drowning to her death, so I would jump back into the river and die with her. I would never leave my wife alone to die, cos i know she needs accompany and is heartache to spend your life without your partner.

talk

2009-02-20T18:21:00.002+08:00

I dunno why, but I do feel maybe i talk less when in group. maybe i dun talk so much as i thought i would talk. Maybe at time i didnt voice out my opinion. And this is wrong, i should just voice it out.

I was told by my instructor to talk more in class, which i think i shld really be. I understand he wants me to talk more because of what i will be doing in NS. Communication that is my job basically.

Okay, god given me a chance to talk more now with people. and i should grab and learn it. yes, i will talk more now. maybe because in army, i seldom talk in class is cos i think i may just talk rubbish, and punishment will be given to me. i learn not to talk so much, and now i learn to talk more. okay, i should talk at the right time.

Yes, i maybe posted to Squadron soon, leaving my friends behind. but to me, i think i would rather be in this situation than to being a ''pilot''. its not that i dun want to be a ''pilot'', but i got my thinking is that i would learn more in the squadron area like handling with people and flights.

Some people may have the mentality that if you are first few posted out, means u no good. but hey, it all depends on what u want in life isnt it.

i will improve on my interaction part with people. some say i talk a lot, why say i talk so less. but maybe in front of instructors, i dun talk so much. and i should change. okay.

Airforce, i will love it. i will.

val

2009-02-15T18:19:00.002+08:00

it was val day... the day i did my guard duty. things happened, and i do not want to go thru that ordeal again.

what more can i say, everything i did this year seem so wrong. my life in the year of ox is like a movie: title, my unlucky year. the things i touch like my com, it spoilt. i walk also can hit something. i can miss my bus. i can get chosen when everyone else is raising up their hand too. i get all the shit this year. tell me when this year would pass.

my ah ma in hospital. went to visit her and saw so many old people lying there. from their eyes, i can see they are struggling, my love indeed go out to them. i console myself, so many people out there just want to live normally also cannot. and me, with this little patch of unlucky time i am going thru, what is it as compare to them.

love on val day is not only limited to couple. not going to orchard road and see guys buying flowers for their girls (not saying i wont do it) but hey, sometime why not take a visit to the hospital.. and there, u can also see and spread love. see how people showing care to their loved ones on the bed.

my val time was spend observing and looking at how people sharing their love with their closed ones in the hospital... what about yours,pal?

val day 2009

2009-02-08T19:47:00.002+08:00

Going to book in soon. Really no mood to do anything. I just want to say i can't wait to ORD! then i will not have this kind of feeling. 2010 oct, when are you coming!!!! pls go forward time for now. OCT 2010... i can't smell it.

Val day 2009 would be like val day 2007 & 2008. however, this time bit different. I will spend it with my ''wife''- guns. doing guard duty at camp. what more can i say.

maybe i shld be happy instead. cos Jaren is single, so why bother to book out. stay in camp to guard isn't it better? then in that case, i can say i do guard duty when people ask what u do on val day. then i will not see couples on the street and feel the ouch feeling? haha. whatever, jaren u say.

looking back. it has been almost close to 1 year since that night. 1 year, wow... time flies. what was i doing that time and now. i don't know what i am thinking, but people will tend to be emotional when they are alone in bunk. seeing how others talking to their gf on the phone, and me alone staring at the notes, it sux. but i have to smile and look forward ya.

1 year, but u know what... i am one who falls in deeply. i don't know, but just that i have actually been thinking of you thou i never sms you. wanted to ask about u thru a friend, but din have the courage to ask how u are doing now. but heard from another friend u are doing great, with new photos of him and u uploaded. i never went to view those photos cos i think it will hurts. but nevertheless, i was really happy to hear u two are that loving. =) and deep down in my heart, just wanna wish her happy Valentine Day. i think u will be spending it with him ya. all the best to her, thou she dun read my blog ba.

hope u are doing fine in your studies and work. all the best, is the only 3 words i can say to you now.

guard duty on val day! be thankful ya.

2009-02-07T01:41:00.002+08:00

Am i a loser? MR Jaren.

Nope, i cant think i am a loser, cos i know i am what i think. No way i am a loser ya. Love life sux. Work life sux. Relationship with people so poor. Everything dun do well. Studies dun understand. So many things wants to do, but never get it done. WHY?

I learn so much recently during my short period in NS. And i wish to thank those who reprimanded me in some sense ... as it really woke me up and realize where is my weakness. People say one need to go thru hard lessons to understand, and right now, i really do understand. i know what is the root of my problem. I SWEAR i will change to be a better person.

Now i understand why the indian palmist say i am a stubborn person. I really see what he mean now. and for my benefits, i will change.

This year Val day is my guard duty. But its okay. i will just =) i mean this is the way i shld approach things now ya. Guard duty then be it. I have learnt. Ya, i also no girlfriend, so even guard duty, then at camp ba. Nothing to celebrate for me. Let people laugh if they want. I cant stop them, but i can stop myself from thinking of the negative things. YES, i am single and i must be proud of it. Is not a crime to not able to find the special one ya.

Learn to accept your position. But stand on your own principles. Learn when to talk and how to talk. I have learn it recently. so much so much so much. THANKS for the wake up call and guidance.

Goals

2009-01-14T20:40:00.002+08:00

Goals are important to me. I believe in it. without it, i will get lost in the big world. What i want in my life, what kind of life i want to lead in future, the things i want to achieve and attained during my life here.

I learn that its good to have goals and milestone for oneself. only then, u will be able to judge how far u have been to, where are you now and what in store for you in the future.its my life, i will take charge of it.

am glad to say for the last year, i have achieved 3 out of the 4 goals i set for myself. =) Jiayou, Jaren! March on, more challenging years i know is ahead for me.

Future Career Path: Work in Aviation industry--Airline company (Marketing?/ Human Resource?) Future goals: Managing Director/ Regional Manager (Age 38)

Jobs to lookout: Airport/ Airline openings.

Timeline: (14/01/2009) as of Today.

* 1 Year (till June 2010) [22 yrs old]
--> About to complete my vocation at Air Force
---> Achieve the Rank of Sergent in the Armed Forces
---> Recovering from my knee surgery (hopefully, i have done my operation, date yet to be confirm) Between Sept'09- April'10??

---> Assure of a school place before I come out from army
---> Gather information on Airline/Tourism body Organizations/ companies. Best if able to secure a place working full time there by July 2010. Which is highly impossible. But chances are still there thou. Research!

* 2 years (till June 2011) [23 yrs old]
--->Volunteer work (at least 2 times per week)
--> Study part time (Hospitality & tourism Management, Marketing/ HR?)
---> Work full time
---> Exercise (3 times per week)

* 4 years (till June 2013) [25 yrs old]
--> Graduate with Degree
---> Continue/ further on with studies. (subject to commitments, single/married? Cash on hand)

* 6 years (till June 2015) [27 yrs old]
--> Finished higher studies? ( Master?)
---> Attained junior management position (aspires to work/locate overseas)
---> work towards it, full commitment

Calculation :

Degree Course (Year 2010) --- SGD 30,000
1 month salary ---- SGD 1850
1 Year : Save up to SGD 22,200-23,000 (Target)
Savings: SGD 8,000

Using savings, CPF, work plus save. takes about 1.5 yrs to pay off my study debt.
Date: 2012-- 24 yrs old by then.

'' Finish each day and done with it. Tomorrow is a new day; You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered. ''

'' To most people, sky is the limit. To me, its merely just the beginning. '' -- Adopted from Air force

2009-01-11T20:57:00.003+08:00

Bring me to Maldives now...

this is my dream holiday, spending it with my love one. me and only her.

bring me there right now.. okay, now still serving NS ya..

Underwater restaurant...

birthday 21st

2009-01-04T21:30:00.002+08:00

Officially, I am 21 yrs old of now.

I celebrated my 21st birthday without much fun fare as compared the previous year. People say and I used to think 21st birthday is one of the most impt mark stone in one journey... When i was 14/15 yrs old, I would tell myself when is my 21st, I would make it one of the grandest celebration for myself...

But as I grow older, and now when i am actually 21 yrs old, I did not really bother celebrating. I dunno, but maybe when one is older, i feel more lazy to do such things. And to be true, I sometime dun really feel like having what some people have like Birthday party anymore le unless i got the interest. or u can just say Suddenly, Jaren just dun feel like making it a big affair or smth.

Maybe is becos of my past year journey. And people say birthday wishes are important... Guess what this year 21st bday? I did not even make a single wish... cos i realize that the wish dun really come true. so tell me, why should i go and wish for it huh. It may not come true year after year. so wish for what ya.

21 yrs old mean I must be more responsible, in 10 yrs time, i maybe starting my own family with my kids. So right now, what most important to me now is to be more independent. Like tying to fix my lights at home, taking the initiative to wash car, clean house, tidy up, learn to change toilet seat cover and stuff. I suddenly felt as we age, we need to know to do these things ourselves. one day, i will have my own house. so i must know how to do it.

So for now, i do not really have any wishes for this year. i am too lazy to think about wishes anymore. My wishes for the past year is that simple, but it never came true.

Thanks people for wishing me on my bday. really appreciate, thou no presents (haha), but i want to say it doesnt really matters to me. And for Zhixiu, Fang Rui, Tze Shuen, Kenneth, Jun Rong, KIan Siong, thanks for trying to buy me present which eventually i still cant find my shoes becos of my small size feet.Appreciate u guys walk with me to find my present. =) It doesnt matter if u all dun buy, really, but i decided since i currently have shoes now, maybe i will not want shoes now. haha. Mp 3 player is better for me. *hint* haha.

club

2008-12-28T02:28:00.003+08:00

Clubbing again.. yup, for 2 consecutive weeks.. I didnt want to go, but somehow or rather i step into the clubbing scene.

I never really dance a lot, cos I just want to be back home and be a good boy. So i leave around 1.30am which is quite early i think. I just dun want to dance while touching a girl... i find it so wrong, it reminded me of the past, which does haunt me at time, where i feel i am so dirty... =X.

I am not such and will not be such a person, swear. i met charlene and alverina. surprise. And also my army gang. i was like '' what the fuck are u guys doing here!!!!? ''

2008-12-26T19:02:00.001+08:00

My commander today say a sentence which left me pondering:

'' Now your girlfriend, will she be your wife? Most probably, only 5% here the girl friend will be your wife, the rest will break up. ''

So what you think, Jaren?

future

2008-12-25T21:36:00.002+08:00

2 Yrs of NS is not waste of time, but still, i would love to embark on my journey... TRAVEL! WORK!

And having said that, i have been pondering . . . Should i Take up courses to improve myself ... Wonder how the schedule would be like, but if time allow, i would want to take up a course/language.

Language, Japanese or French? Japanese learn 1/8 and i hate to leave things halfway done. But French, i am more interested. But if French, is best to learn it in French School in Spore. but is damn expensive. and if i don't speak, it will be kinda of useless.

If take up course, i can take up casino, business management, Computer skills, etc. Its better to pick up another cert now.. but should i go for course or language, which is both important in propelling me further in my future career.

Oh, what should i do?

club/ party

2008-12-21T16:29:00.005+08:00

Clubbing . . .

huh?@! snap me?

supper. Bat Ku Tek.
kian Siong bday...

2008-12-16T17:37:00.001+08:00

2008-12-15T16:00:00.003+08:00

Yes, I am a PEST 'C' soldier. . . so many people dun believe i am pest C ... why? I really cant run, cant jump, cant do much... because of my legs.

I envy those who can run, i want to run too~ but i am also glad that I am in Pest C. but given a choice, i still want to be in Pest A. fit.

hong kong

2008-12-15T15:52:00.005+08:00

Photos.. from Hong Kong. my friend just uploaded it on facebook. . . and it reminds me the happy times... =)

please... please stop snapping us... stop it..

2008-12-08T21:24:00.002+08:00

Volunteer work...

i really salute to those handicapped people who are able to something for themselves despite they being physically disadvantaged. I salute them.

Giving is better than receiving. When we are really down, to my friends, please think of others who are poorer than your state. Yet, they still survive and fight on.

If we are able to help, why not ya. If anyone have volunteer work lobang, do look for me ya. Lending your help is the best joy one can get.

2008-12-08T01:03:00.003+08:00

NO MORE TEKONG!! yep =)

From now till 22nd Dec, i am a FREE man... book me up ya. haha. anything. anywhere. eat. chill. talk. play. everything, i just want to enjoy the time i have in my hands now. FREEDOM

Where will i posted out to? i wonder. . . and i pray. THERE pls.

POC

2008-11-30T15:17:00.002+08:00

Count down... 1.5 more weeks to go... before i will pass out of Tekong. woof... quick.

It has been a long long time since i last go for my leisure swim every morning, wake up at a later time, go for my jogging at East Coast, play bowling, sing k box with friends, catch a movie, window shopping Christmas period, etc. slack at home. MAHJONG!~

Go Marina Barriage, go MacRitchie Reservoir, go southern ridges, go haw par villa, go southern islands, ohhhh.... Sentosa!~ i wonder how it has been now...

I miss cooking food at home too... wonder anyone wanna try my food? haha... name it and i will try my bestest best to cook it... oh. i miss working at airport too... i should just make a trip down and see familiar faces and my airplanes... miss ya.

9 more days!!!!

army field camp

2008-11-23T10:58:00.002+08:00

field camp is finally over... and i am glad i am still here typing this post... haha.
its kinda of shag ya.... no more energy.... shit, urine at the place i slept, on my groundsheet....

okay.. hopefully, for the next 2 weeks before i pass out from BMT, everything would be fun & smooth going ya.. pray.

i can only say SBS buses look so nice to me now, cars looks like luxury cars to me, dun ask me to look at trees, cos they look suxy to me now.

Quick, 9 Dec... then i will have my long holiday before posted out... another set of jouney continue... =) look forward, there isnt any use of complaining... you have to go thru ya... =)

then, i will go on holiday, and play mahjong with Tze Shuen, Fang Rui, Ken, jun rong, yf??? wah... cant wait for the days to come... ENDURE la...

2008-11-08T16:35:00.001+08:00

Army... field camp.

ENDURE!!!! 1 more month... 9 Dec' 08. i cant wait for that date to come. tell me how long more.... Tell me. ENDURE

Army Not love.

2008-10-22T23:08:00.002+08:00

I have seen my friends who gave their love and ended up being hurt in the end.
I have seen my pals falling love but ended up breaking after 8 yrs.

I have seen people falling in love and they seem so sweet.

But now to Jaren,
I would just want to complete my NS,
Love? It doesn't really exist in his dictionary now.
Fate will handle it.
Naturally is the best, that's why people say fall in love.
You fall into it, not step into it.

People say I'm crazy, I'm blind
I cant get you out from my head
I dun care who you are,
Where you're from
As long as you love me
Dun care what you did

I will grow thru this pain
I am doing all I can
To be a better man

for all the truth you brought to my life
for every dream it may come true
i will never let you fall
i will lead you on
You're my strength when I couldn't speak
You gave me everything when you couldn't reach
I'm everything you're for me

You're my world, my heart, my soul
How could i live without you?
I want you to know,
How could I? How do I?

When I look back these days,
You're there for me
In my dreams, In my heart,
It has always been you.

Share the laughter, Share the tears,
I still don't know
But I miss you finally.

When you need me,
Just rub your eyes,
And I ll be there for you.

2008-10-21T12:32:00.002+08:00

3 more days, that's what i have left to go on my next chapter in my life.

Army ya. Everyone will have to go thru i know, That's why I never complain.
I shall see it as a challenge and hopefully I will come out top from it.

Thanks to everyone all my friends who has given me sweet memories before i go to the army. Guess this is my last time typing here, the next post will be about army.

'Don't worry, i will survive this.' haha. =)

Its only I am afraid my knee will give way. Pls not my knee.

Year 2008

2008-10-10T23:26:00.024+08:00

Recall Year 2008. My year will end with Army.

Oct 2008
- Ended working with SVC @ Airport after 1 year. Its great to be working at airport, becos i can see my aircrafts! =) and serve visitors, welcome to Singapore~

- Build closer relationship i feel with the LRM interns. GUGU Pam, Beverly and Kevin &Co. Friends are important, and i treasure you guys~~ haha. Bowling, cycling, Chalet, Board Games, Arcade, Supper, etc.

- playing Mahjong, bowling, etc.
- Preparing for army.

Sept 2008
-Went to IPOH. Last trip with family before army. Driving is fun in Malaysia!~ Next time, i will drive my friends up.... =)

- Went to Thailand with cousins. Lots of shopping & Eating. =)
-Converted from Full timer to Temp Basis @ SVC

July & August 2008
- Mad work, working OT, working outside Assignments . earning whatever money.
- Worked 48 hrs non-stop, slept only 5 hrs . . . that's life for me back in August'08
- My life revolves around work, swimming,gym, jogging, cycling. Yep, I wanna to have a FIT body to show off next time... haha. =)

June 2008
- Takes up acting, for Channel U show. Teenage show title oops, i forget. shit.
- Shooting for me at a school in Hougang.. Students looking at us.
- Shoot 3-4 scene, acting as * student*
--> Cameras rolling, in 3,2,1, ACTION!
- Later, shoot an advert for a private company at Bedok Void-deck.

May 2008
- Receive my Diploma in Hospitality & Tourism Management =) Next, after my NS.
- Reading Self-improvement books. It has really been encouraging & inspiring for me, it propel me further to reaching my targets i set for myself.

April 2008
-Embark on my INDIA adventure... finally, i have fufilled my desire to go INDIA.

TAJ MAHAL> KASHMIR> Now's dangerous, bomb, terrorists. I'm glad i make it. And i never regret visiting India. I will go back to this exotic country one day.

- Accompany my ah ma to the hospital for her regular check up

March 2008
-Hoilday with my soccer friends in Hong Kong & Macau for 5 days. . . . I enjoyed it very much guys. Next destination they want to go Japan, wait for me to come out from NS! =)

Feb 2008
-Did something for someone, which I really meant it...

- Staying up late at hospitals, rushing to & from.

-Very tired month, both physically and mentally.

- End of my poly sch term.
Jan 2008

- Celebrated my birthday at chalet.. Downtown East.

- End of internship @ SVC

2008-10-10T22:41:00.002+08:00

ARMY. YEP<>

Physically, mentally, i should be ready.

Happy or not happy, One have to go through army. So there's nothing unhappy I must said.

Instead, its a chance for Jaren to improve himself. His thinking, his actions, his everything. Its a time of improvement for me.

No use saying this or that sux anymore, If you have to go through it, why not go through it happily and hopefully ''enjoy'' the process...

=) So give me 2 years, I will transfer from being a boy to a man. 2 years is all that it takes. =)
I will work hard to become a better man for myself and my family. =)

''Come On, Jaren, Bring on that little fighter in your spirit. ''

Its time to put my end to my social life. Its time to be serious.

envy.,

2008-10-04T10:22:00.004+08:00

Whenever i read my friend blog/ journal,

I saw the pictures taken.

Their life experience in a foreign land

Their studies, their books.

Sometimes, in a foreign language.

I hate to take up a new language actually,

Cos i know it needs lots of hard work.

But I think I'm willing to learn.

I love to live in a region where French is widely spoken.

I think French is a nice langauge.

I dun have the $,

So I guess i got to relie on myself to earn the $

And sponsor my ownself to study overseas

Or rather live overseas.

Sometimes,

I admit i evny humans whose parents sponsor them

Guess I got to depend on my own hands now.

Till that very day,

I am looking forward living outside Singapore.

2008-10-04T08:54:00.001+08:00

Some nice song lyrics. Credits to 李玖哲. New found idol.

我的不安
那么沉重
只有你不懂
他霸占了你的心中
属于我的角落
所以你说
我们不是你和我
是我想太多
你总这样说
但你却没有真的心疼我
是我想太多我也这样说
这是唯一能安慰我的理由oh...

drunk

2008-10-02T16:04:00.005+08:00

Drunk last night. Yep, i feel now i am getting lousier. Its only 2 glass, 1 bottle, 3 cans of beer that make me drunk.

And I want to say being drunk the feeling suck. I puked for the first time after drinking too much i think. All my pasta i ate is on the floor~ they have to clear up the mess i created.

And to my friend, thanks. I think now he should be afraid of going out with me for drink activities. Hey pal, thanks!~

Sometimes, when you're down, so many troubles come to you, you could easily drink and get yourself out of control. I dun really remember so clearly what happens. I only know i utter a lot of rubbish last night. I only remember I'm not the only one who had troubles, my friend too.

Head's spinning, but at time, when u are drunk, u feel so happy and so sad deep into your issues. Very contrasting right, feel happy and sad same time. I dun know how to explain the feeling. But the moment i vomited, I knew this has gone too far. I sleep in the toilet for a while! oh gosh.

Oh, Until now, i dun even know what time i reach home. Issit 3.30am or 4.30am? Cant see clearly last night.

2008-09-30T00:56:00.004+08:00

Amazing Race is back... =) but i doubt i will be in army when the season finale is broadcast on TV.

I love to join if there's one.. travel yet can take challenges. bungee, eat weird stuff animal... so cool. i want, i will be the first few for audition if there's one. but then come to think about it, i dun have a partner... who wants to do it with me... i will take care of it..

okay, talk as if singapore got the worldwide amazing race like that...

Travel is the Best

2008-09-27T11:12:00.007+08:00

This year (2008), i have been to busy cities such as Bangkok, New Delhi, Hong Kong,etc. Somehow rather of it, I am sick of such tourist spots. I love to go exotic, unexplored area in the World.

At times, after travel to these so call built up cities, I would now want to travel to less populated area, a place to relax. I have always believe '' One should travel like a traveller, not like a tourist. ''
Actually, travelling around the world has open up my mind. I dare not to say that I have seen much of the world, cos i know the world is so big out there, but the places that now Jaren wants to go is . . .

-----Seychelles!!

I love to try diving one day. . . the undersea is so beautiful!

I love the feeling of fishes swimming around me... Tioman is a nice place, but Seychelles is better i think!

---- Nearby places: East Malaysia (Mulu National Park!), Actually, south East Asia is a nice place.. now i understand why ang mo travel to this region. We should treasure our land here.

I have bitten by Leech in Sabah. . . and its nice experience i must said. Not everyday u can be bitten by leech in a city state Singapore ya. Love to go back to nature, where everything seem so peaceful.

Treking is an adventure

2008-09-25T17:17:00.010+08:00

It will be less than 1 month before i leave my workplace... S'pore visitor Center @ Changi Airport.

Yep, i cant bear to leave my airport, but guess sometime we got to move on. =) I will take it in my stride.

I would love to enjoy the remaining days and working hours I have left at the airport. Been feel rather carefree and easy going to work nowadays, knowing my time is limited now. I will treasure the remaining time working at SVC.

Photos took during the F1 race week.
Taken with Ida
the so called candid shot... dreaming again.

Taken with Nor & Eliz.
Taken in a big group... Louis, Nor, Eliz, Maltida, Jaren, LilyTaken another shot in a big group. ... and they say I look like Lewis Hamilton... oh no, is that a compliment or insult?? I know i am tanned. =X Geylang Hamilton la..my colleagues still bother to zoom into the picture. omg.

2008-09-22T14:32:00.024+08:00

Back from Bangkok, Thailand.
My homework.
It has really been sort of tiring because i have to take care of my ah ma and auntie. I have to ensure their safety, their food are taken care, their shopping needs are fulfilled before i can buy my stuff. Bargain, Bargain, there will be a post on the art of bargaining soon vetted by Jaren. =) I am still learning . . . =)

What a tiring trip. . . hey, i set myself a target of buying only 2 shirts the most... in the end, i bought 5 shirts, 3 pants, 1 shoe, 1 wallet, many small little stuffs for friends. . .

Baby Bren sitting aircraft for the first time. . . =)

Tiger airways, my 2nd time sitting . . . my aircrafts =) love it to bits. Can i see aircraft for 20 hrs, i dun mind!~
Taking with my beloved ah ma. She's really really old now. . . cant walk much and far.
FOOD in Thailand. PIG blood, pig brain, pig intestine... yummy. People say why eat such stuff, but hey isnt it nice? You got to try nice food. Pig blood i am craving for more. . .

Sashimi Japanese food rox!~ Road side stall is the best!~

Deep fried Grasshoppers, Frogs, crickets, worms!!~ Is really nice. My 2nd time eating. Everytime in Thailand, you must eat this my friends! really, try it, u dun know is nice till u try it.

What's watching soccer without beer?
what's about going to Thailand without trying Thai massage?? The thai massage nice. Better than the one i got it in Sri Lanka. Oil massage. in Thailand, at least lady massage you.. . haha. i mean lady hands are better in terms of strength. not so powerful ma. So shuang u know!! i almost slept and my saliva was all over the mattress seriously. can u imagine so comfortable. my arms, woof... after swimming at the hotel, go massage. nice. i will be back for more massage! wait for me! and yup, they crack my bones. ouch, but nice.

Go thailand, must eat shark fin!! only SGD 12 for one big bowl!~

Attractions.

10 yrs old took pictures with snake. 10 yrs later, take another picture with snakes in Thailand again.10 yrs later . . .

Hi there!look at me babe.

The 2 babies. Babies are sooo cuteeeee =) I'm ready in terms of mentally to have my own baby!~ =) Its tough to change napkins, but i am learning.

Shopping time@!~

Taking Bangkok Train Transport (Their MRT). Explore Bangkok yourself.
Bargain the price for Tuk-Tuk . . . i have fell in love in sitting Tuk Tuk. they drive against the traffic flow. move like how the locals do. Travel like a traveller, not like a tourist.

2008-09-17T11:33:00.003+08:00

A few more hours, and i will be flying off to Bangkok . . . with my relatives, cousins ! =O

But right now, i am blogging while at work. =X . . . its a great feeling to know that you will only work less than 5 times in a week. Now i realize life is not about money only. -) hmm..

Wanted to watch Money Not Enough 2 with my friends... but no one seem to be interested. . . so got this DVD from Malaysia... hey, didnt know it was really so touching... Jack Neo movies rocks.

Always never fail to make me cry. i think it really reflects so true on some Singaporeans life. And it is no way to treat your parents by sending them to the old folks home.. too much, parents take so much pain to bring us up. when old, isnt it our duty to take care of our parents. .. haiz, this happens in real life. poor thing.

2008-09-16T11:15:00.021+08:00

Back from IPOH trip... quite a far one from S'pore... 6 hrs drive yupz..

Its nice to drive along North-South Expressway... all if a sudden, I'm so thankful i got a driving license; shiok to drive, or rather speed along the expressway.... But after driving 2 hrs at 110km/hr... eyes tend to be tiring... Gonna to close my eyes which is of cos damn dangerous...

But no way man, Behind the wheels, everyone's life is in my hands... =) haha. Alert, Jaren!~

Stupid BMW drove so fast, by passing me when i already drove 120km/hr ... when his car overtake me, my whole car vibrate... so u can imagine how fast it is huh... at least 160km/hr... Why wanna speed, Mr BMW? haiz.... and the result, after 5 mins, his car crashed along the side of the expressway...

Youngsters only think of speeding, but not their own safety... *shake head* =P

Anyway, The Art of driving in Malaysia requires one to learn... i have no idea how do some of them actually pass their driving test? or even so, they do not have license in the first place. Malaysia has many beautiful romantic places too actually, maybe one day i could drive up with my wife and kids. . . oh wait, Jaren does not even have gf now, why talk about wife? Its just a random joke i assume.

Food @ Ipoh... Yummy...
Tim Sum @ Ipoh.

Famous Chicken Beanspourts . . . Nice!~ Research from internet.
Come, one by one plate, chicken@!
Done, after 15 mins.

One whole stretch of stalls selling Pam-mo-lo.
Reminds me of Geylang and Taiwan shop selling bing lan... cos all the ladies stand in front of their shop asking us to go in...

Oh, i asked the hotel reception places of attraction... and she have no idea!~ i got nothing to say... they are like that, what can i say.. haha. just laugh it off. =) Its okay, i have done my homework... and apprently she pointed the wrong section of the map when i corrected her... isnt it here?? I seem to be better off in knowing the attractions than her.. haha. =X

My homework... Maps/ Suggested places of interest... Courtesy of Tourism Malaysia.

Caves, Caves, Caves, so many. . .
Taken with my beloved ah ma.

oh... its poking me.... stone~stone!~

Hot Spring...

Waterfall... i should said the most beautiful one in Malaysia...
Nicer than Canada. . . serious.

Saw this stupid Snake which drop from the tree in front of me... oh shit, if i walk faster, means it will drop on my shoulder.. how cool it is@~

Mum:'' oh, what's that, lizard?''
Me:'' nah, its only a snake. . . ''
Mum:'' WAHHHH..'' (screaming)

2008-09-12T17:37:00.002+08:00

Saw my junior batch of interns coming in to work... i felt so old... one year, time flies. Until now, i always have a feeling that I'm a newbie at SVC, i am a trainee, and i am learning from everyone at SVC...

Just wanted to tell the current interns, Take care @ SVC, and just do your work, dun care what people say or gossip... =) It's not that bad, you will come out stronger after this ...

Time to abandon my blog... cos i will be going to Malaysia with moi family... Driving all the way up to IPOH... family time for me. dun disturb me, thanks. =)

And later come back to work 1 day and pack bag and fly off to Thailand!~ for more shopping & eating & holiday-ing.

Are we going to Bintan? Am i still going to Nepal?? many unanswered questions. all i also want to travel!~

2008-09-10T13:18:00.009+08:00

Tuesday: my rest day . . .

Let me begin by saying i got to give credits to KEVIN THAM .. becos i took his photos from his blog . . or else later he come tell me i never put his name... i thought he never reads my blog. . . okie, my fault. haha.

Went supper at Geylang- Jaren's hometown with Kevin, Beverly and Pamela Li. oh.. rewind the day earlier...

Fetch mum to work, so i could have the car to myself. and there it goes...is time to distress myself... EXERCISE TIME. went jogging at East Coast ... saw these 2 dogs screaming at each other... oh, how i wish i was also strolling the park with a dog, i bet my dog can outscream them... IF i have a dog. haha. Do some pumping and realize my strength seem to deprove after 1 week of not exercising. shit. disaster!~

Then bring my ah ma to run errands... till 1pm. finally, time to catch some sleep... but dunno why... my handphone rings when i going to have a dream... beep, beep, =) so i woke up and saw the weather so nice... sunny!~ omg. is time to go swimming... =)

So i went swimming and jogging on the same day. my legs were actually very tired. but i enjoy. and i have somehow rather used to do things alone nowadays... that's life. training for next time living outside Singapore ... =P

Went Dinner/ supper with Kevin, Beverly & Pamela Li Jin Mei.

Hey, it was not so nice as the previous time. boo. deprove. I pour back the kway teow becos Beverly said i didnt took the picture...

And this is my oyster egg@! BEst in Singapore & JB... best. but now also not so good.. but still quite nice.

Pam Li arrive later... and so we embark on our 2nd portion of food journey... time to eat Taiwanese famous Yong He... =)

That's Pam li eating her yummy you tiao.

And dunno which gugu human took this pic...

oh... this pic was taken when waiting for Pam ... let me describe this scene. the stroy goes like this... the boy and girl broke up. The girl was so upset.... and the boy was shy for the camera...

anyway, we went to check out some ''hot chicks''....Pam needed the toilet... so we walked into the hotel lobby. i feel like i am going there to have a room sia.. so malau. but the hotle guy said NO toilet which i think is bullshit la.. and i am sorry if Pam li have to go to the guys toilet at the coffeeshop... and i think she had an experience there.... lol. i was like guarding the toilet to make sure no men enter the washroom... but still the guy which all along was washing stuff choose to peep and i did not realize it.. oops... sorry pam...

Ate Durians at geylang... this is funny. Bought 2 durains... and the seller ask me to bring the durains (self- service la)... my left hand holds my wallet & hp, so i left with one hand to hold 1 durain... then the seller say pam can help ma... so i was like in my mind .. ''oh ya, but then the durains is pricky, can she handle? '' then i realize i was so blur... i am actually to have pass the wallet & hp to pam... not ask pam to take the durains... boo. paiseh.

the durians...

Pam eating her durians... and as usual, Kevin and Bev dun want to eat... =( hmm... so i got to stomach it in too... and the next day, morning, i got liquid form coming out... and it smells of durain becos i actually went to smell it?? lol..

Fetch the 3 pigs home... and went to take the book at Bedok... by the time i abt to sleep, the time reads 1.30am. and 3.5 hrs more... i got to wake up and get my ass working... opening shift. =)

2008-09-08T18:56:00.006+08:00

Met up with Poly Year 1 mates... it was suppose to be more than 9 humans... in the end, only 5 of us turned up for a dinner gathering... i have already guessed and predicted this would be the result... I do understand each of us have different time schedule... so that's life after graduation... the tiredness of arranging a meet up with friends i miss and wants to catch on with them... but only 5 of us were there. =) its okay.

That's joyce... quite photogenic i must said... lol. think that's a compliment. she really seems to lost some weight... but she didn't believe.

Keng Kee and Jimson... !~ =)
This is the salmon sashimi i ate... shared with Candice and Jimson.. quite expensive.. 3 slices for SGD 6 ... or maybe i am a mountain tortoise, is this the market price?

看不到尽头
回头只剩寂寞

Sat-- Went to Raymond house... soccer friends gathering... i guess i have to admit it really warms my heart to see you guys again!! I smiled to myself when i saw we are together crapping and eating together... BBQ =)

Gambling is of cos included in our social gathering. =) Ashely, Happy birthday!~ and i won in both Mahjong and Blackjack... haha. But playing with you guys is the greatest joy not the $.

Although my love life now sucks like hell ... but my life is filled with friends and of course children... they are so cute... =) Can i have my own too one day? Cant wait for the day to see my wife give birth... been watching 命中注定我愛你 Taiwanese drama... Huiqi introduce to me..and i realize that mums are so great, labor in pain...
Hey baby Justin, look here...
Stop shaking around... babyyyy
Cheeseeeeeee

2008-09-05T12:07:00.002+08:00

2008-09-05T11:39:00.004+08:00

Recently, I went for my break alone during work... I want to spend the little available time that i have left working in the airport transit area .... Spend the quality time enjoying what i have been missing all these days...

After working inside transit for close to 1 year, I realize i have always overlook the beautiful airport in what other tourists have claim, Best Airport.

And so i went to check it out. Yup, agreed, best airport. =) so nice.

I love to listen to the sound of the aircrafts... the engine sound. i loved to bits. Yup, it may sound insane to you, but this is Jaren. He likes the sound coming out from aircrafts, esp taking off...

Recently, a couple about the age of 19- 21 yrs old, came asking me : '' where's the butterfly garden? '' hmm... oh. is inside transit terminal 3. only those who have airport pass or rather catching a flight out from Changi then have access to the beautiful butterfly garden. Its such a pity that this couple couldnt go in and view it together.

I wanted to give my airport pass to them so that they can enter the butterfly garden. Newly opened. Go and enjoy the time together... i wanted to say and give them the pass which is of cos impossible. haiz. I am fortunate to have the airport pass... but at the same time, is isnt so nice to take a walk at the butterfly garden alone. If there's someone beside me (her) to share my walking experience by the park, isn't it great? But it will never happen. I will be walking alone the park...

Isnt this butterflies cute, flying all around you?? They greeted me, they cheer me up a little. but not a lot though. but at least they do.
So bored, so i was snapping this picture of me (airport pass) comparing the size of butterfly. This butterfly never fly off at the sight of my face in front of him/her.
and i was alone, listening to A380 aircraft outside...

Walking alone is eye-opening. Walking together with someone is fun. Walking with the special one is something unforgettable.

Lastly, my favourite aircraft, A380- World largest commercial aircraft.

2008-08-27T05:43:00.002+08:00

Today date reads: 27th Aug'08. 4 more days of work then i will resign as a full timer. Working there is okay for me cos i got to see my aeroplanes =) However, mouth of colleagues sometimes are very poisonous.

Maybe it was because i am a pig, so pig make silly mistakes on that night. And created a mess that i have to clean up now or rather just ignore it cos it will fade off as time passes by.

I was shock to know that apparently so many people came and ask me if it is true or not that thing. When asked who spread the gossips, people always say ''They say de'' so tell me who is the ''They?'' They?? You mean so many people say it behind my back only now i realize it?? Am i such a pig?

I dun blame people for being so kapo and confronted me if the matter is true or not. However, I am amazed that it seems so many people already knew. And worse, facts are often distorted and some even add colours saying stuff that I will never do. Its against my principle, I am not such a person.

Its heartening to hear one of them saying Jaren is not this kind of person. Ya, indeed... instead, i gave my best regards. Is that also wrong? Saying how i feel towards someone, is it also wrong? It seem like a crime with me being questioned by colleagues. I have got nothing to say cos I know i never did such things.

But to whoever spread such things, do you know it's a agony to clear such issue. Why spread it and let the whole world know when i got to face the consequences, braving a face front.

I will work less onwards. no more full time. =)

2008-08-22T23:57:00.002+08:00

It was so close. So close.

I got the F1 job! But i rejected it after a few hours because i am unable to go for the training day. I will be away from Singapore that period of time. ARGH!

You have no idea how much i would love to be working at the F1 site. It would defintely add colours to my resume/ life. But i cant right now.

Some want the F1 job so badly too, but me here gaving up my own rights. shit.

2008-08-21T01:16:00.006+08:00

10 more days.... to finish off my job as full timer. And i will have more time to spend. =)

give myself few more days to earn whatever $ i can... OT. then is my turn to have a well derserved holiday for myself! Spend my hard earn $. Ya, i spend it on holiday after saving.

Going to short 3 day trip to Malaysia. =) Spend quality time with my family. all of us will be going for the first time since 3 yrs ago?

and try the yummy yummy food... =)

Then i will be going to Thailand. =) Bangkok with my cousins. =) yea, and baby justin!!! he is my bao bei.

for more Shopping.. and Eating as well. =)

Then probably this not yet confirm.... i pray hard. Maybe I'm flying to Nepal!! last trip before NS start. in early Oct. =) Nepal, wait for me! i'm coming!

2008-08-17T01:16:00.000+08:00

I Was A Fool For You.

by Ruqaiya Curmally

I don't know when my laughter turned to tears,
When my joys became my fears,
when one touch and you'd be gone,
and I'd be standing all alone.
I laughed till I cried,I knew,
but still I tried,To make a place in your life.
You walked away without a word,you neither saw nor heard
The love I tried to prove
The way my life, around you moved.
I don't know how long I criedand wished that I had died.
And how my body ached for you,
And how you ignored my love so true.
So, I'm standing all alone again,
Wiping the tears that always begin,
Every day and every nightand every silent moment of my life ,
Whenever I think of the many ways
I was a fool for you.

2008-08-12T17:13:00.003+08:00

Slacking/ Resting/ Charging energy at home. My last rest day... the next one will be 13 days away?
So just post some random pictures before i no energy to do so...
'' I cant open my eyes, is too bright the sun! ouch>> EGYPT''
' Hey, I realize this picture look like pervert, be careful young girls -- Pervert CHEN''
Taken @ Macau, with soccer friend.

Movie Title: The EYE (Co star: Jaren)
''Woah, 7 wonders of the world- Pyramid @ Egypt!''
A tiger cub I am carrying, its so cute. Don't sleep tiger, wake up, bite me~~
'' Wind so strong, Halong Bay- Beautiful Vietnam: I love ya! ''

2008-08-12T12:14:00.003+08:00

Kris Flyer -- Gold Lounge.

For the past 11 months, I always hear people ask where is the SIA Lounge?
One day, It will be my turn to ask people. I will work towards that day.
Gold Class Lounge. I will be sitting inside one day.
My aircrafts. Sunflower Garden, Cactus Garden, these are the places where you can find me alone during break... I love the aircraft sound. I love everything about aircrafts.
Although I will be leaving the airport soon, I will not forget how I have the experience of working inside transit area and every moment I spend watching my aircrafts.

2008-08-11T18:51:00.002+08:00

I have RESIGN from my current job @ airport... I feel tired from working.
Time to enjoy life from Sept 1 onwards... till oct 24, my army enlist date.

However, i will still be working on an ad-hoc basis. not full time 5 days a week....
Money is important, but i heard stories of so many ppl just die like that...
So I have come to this conclusion,
Jaren, money can be earned, enjoy life now...

Having said that,
I dunno why I going to do OT this week, and work outside assignments. so my schedule for this week goes like this, (take note, Jaren!)

Week of 11 Aug- 17th Aug

Monday: 1715 hr - 0215hr
Tuesday: REST day
Wednesday: 0645hr-1645 hr
Thursday: 0545-1445 hr
Friday: 0545-1445 hr
Sat: 1715-0215 hr (Sleep for only 2.5 hrs, then off to work at 5.40am)
Sunday: 0600 - 0000hr (Work 18 hrs in total)

Week of 18th Aug- 24 Aug

Monday: 0600-0000 hr (Another 18 hrs in total)
Tue: 1715 hr- 0215 hr
Wed: 1715 hr- 0215 hr
Thur: 0900 hr- 2200 hr (13 hrs in total)
Fri : Want to work OT??
Sat: 0545 hr- 1445 hr
Sun: 0545 hr- 1445hr

Looking at my schedule, will I fall sick?? I think i should be able to do it ya, it will be a challenge for me. i love challenge. I should be able to tide over this period.

After earning all the $, I will go out with my friends and travelling. SAVE too for rainy days of cos!

After 1 sept, i will feel happier. and carefree. =)

1) Meet Huiqi before she fly out to UK
2) Meet with my soccer friends on a weekend, long time never seen them
3) Outing/ dinner with Poly friends??
4) Outing with pig & common friends
5) Play mahjongsss every available time I have left

Hey, come to think about it, i also seem quite busy leh... even after quitting full time. lol.
Still work say maybe 2/3 days a week ba...

And not forgetting my holiday vacation!!
This time will be going to 2 countries.
Tentively:

Malaysia (14th Sept- 16th Sept)
Thailand ( 18th Sept- 21st Sept)

haha... rest one day in between... =) to pack luggage.

WORK HARD, PLAY HARD too!

JIAYOU, JAREN!!

I can do it. My crucial period of working time commence on this wednesday (after my REST day on tue) with period spanning over 13 days... woof. I can do it!

2008-08-10T16:07:00.004+08:00

Don't you think this is so true?

你真的忘的了你的初戀情人嗎

假如有一天

你遇到了跟他長得一模一樣的人

他真的就是他嗎　還有可能嗎

這是命運的寬容

還是另一次不懷好意的玩笑

如果這是最好的結局

為何我還忘不了你

Maybe is not enough of sleep,
Work, Over night mahjong, Work, House work,
Trying to stay strong,
Feel very weird,
As in something in my life is missing,
Unlike other people down the streets
Why's it so??
This kind of feeling is unexplainable.
But maybe some things you need not explain,
You will realize and treasure when the right one comes by.
Maybe.

2008-07-28T22:00:00.002+08:00

Blogging allow me to express myself.
Maybe people will say i am emotional, guess i am brought up this way by my mum

Since young,
I have listened to her worries, her troubles.
Yes, I'm tired actually with my issues also.

But I know i can't say tired.
Dun worry mum, I will depend on myself.

I have a pair of hands and legs,
I will not make you worry,
I will earn my $ and paid for my own educational fees definitely. Not a single cent i will need.
I try my best okay.

I will work hard to earn the $.
Some people at work maybe saying
Why I seem to work so hard?
Its my off days,
But I managed to work outside assignments,
Or OT, every cents i saved,
I feel a sense of accomplishment
Nearer to my target.

Maybe on the outside,
I appear rich to people?
Becos they always ask where is the next country i am visiting . . .

Yes, i love travelling.
It is the thing that makes me happy
I guess its from my mum genes.

But is mostly my own $ when i reached the age of 18 yrs old.
I believe in using my own $ to make myself happy.
Only 1 close friend did I tell her about my current situation.
Because I don't really know who to talk to and some time u got to see
the mood to talk too.

But one thing I am sure,
I will work hard and
one day, it will be my turn to ask service officers,
''Where's the Gold lounge for SIA First Class?''
I will believe and work towards it.

2008-07-28T12:52:00.003+08:00

I have been working and working for the past few days. . . working OT ya so as to earn more $ and make my bank account looks fatter. $ can do wonders, but its not everything. I have choosen to take a break tomorrow from work and unwind myself, indulge in music, and friends.

Maybe work got into me these few days, till for no reason, i am feeling emo now. haha. The words i have kept in my heart, the things i wanted to say but i didn't.

I awoke to see your hair in a mess,

make up running down your face,
eyes red from crying,

and the first thing I would say to her

''You're still that beautiful in my eyes. ''

And I meant it.

When you love someone, you can tell.
But when you are in love with someone,
Everyone else can tell.

6 billion souls in the world & sometimes all you need is fate

Somewhere in between all our laughs,
long talks, stupid little rights, and all our jokes,
i fell in love.

It's amazing how easily you make me smile
I'm trying to think of something, anything,
Just to keep from thinking of you.

If you cant get someone out of your head,
Maybe they are suppose to be there.

Late at night,

when the whole world is sleeping,

someone stay up late thinking of you.

and wish upon a star.

Everytime I hear this song, I think of you

And every song reminds me of you

Follow your heart,

It knows the way

You can fall from the sky

You can fall from the tree

But the best way to fall is in love.

Take my hand, we will make it, I swear by heart.

The reason that god put spaces between our fingers,
Was so that someone else would fill them up.

My world was black & white

Until the day you walk through my door and into my heart

When our hands interlocked with each other,

How I wish the time could just stop.

How I wish I could never have the opportunity to let go.

You know you love her when you can't help

But cry because you know she's not yours...

She's his. . .

I wish i wa as invisible as you make me feel.

It's weird how I keep trying to hold on to something that's not coming back

Sometimes, we must get hurt in order to grow,

We must fail in order to know.

Sometimes, our vision clear only after our eyes are washed away with tears.

I loved you once,

I loved you still,

I always have

I always will

2008-07-21T21:09:00.002+08:00

Some wonderful books i have began to read. . .

These books are keeping me occupied.

2008-07-19T00:37:00.002+08:00

Oceans apart,
Day after day,
And i slowly go and sleep.

I hear your voice
But it doesnt get close to me

Wherever you go,
Whatever you do,
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or my heart breaks
I will be waiting for you

I hear the laughter
I taste the tears
But i cant feel you now
Oh, can u see baby
You got me going crazy

Yes when you are in love
When i meet you
He's still in your eyes

There you were, wild and free
Reaching out like you needed me
A helping hand to make it right
I am holding you all through the night

I'll be the one,
I'll be the one
Who will make all your sorrows undone

I'll be the light
When you feel like there's nowhere to run

I'll be the one
To hold you and make sure that you'll be alright'
Cause my faith is gone
And I want to take you from darkness to light

2008-07-17T00:17:00.003+08:00

I recently become so addicted to reading self improvement books. It teaches and hopefully does change my mindset now.

hmm... dun put on an act in front of others. Just be the person you really want to be. You are what you are, you do not have to impress or make anyone satisified by being the person they expect you to be.

I wonder what do people think of me. Maybe to people who may not know me well, they will say i am lame. i really dislike it when people say i am lame. Because deep down, hey i 'm not. But if ppl think that way, i also cannot say anything. But if more than 1 ppl say i am lame, it means i am really lame in people eyes?

Arent I serious in your eyes? If you know me better, I can be a serious person ya. But the book teaches me, just be your ownself. I admit it is difficult to ignore how people have the preception of you. But i will learn and keep on learning to be a better Jaren, not to impress anyone, but to improve myself both physically and spiritually..

2008-07-10T22:28:00.002+08:00

''My show'' was on channel U . . . haha. But the face was not so clear as usual...

Its just an additional income and an experience for me in so call acting . . .

Rested for today a well deserved break... learning about life and reading the bookssss.... =)
Life should be enjoyable. If you think it is, then it is.

I have learn:
- This moment affords me infinite possibilities, for I live in the eternal now of being.
-Success meets all my endeavors and I am adequate to deal with every area of my life.

And one serious grave mistake I have always made when i meet new people:
'' I always tell myself i am bad in remembering names. NO, now I should change my mentality i am able to remember your name. '' I have been trying and constantly reminding myself that I have to call people by their name cos I know that is what they love to hear most. Just like i do when people call my name. =)

2008-07-08T18:48:00.004+08:00

FIR came into the airport transit area. . . for signing of autograph. Apparently, the transit mall is not crowded because its all tourists. ang mo. who the hell know who is FIR Taiwan band huh...

I have penned my name down in 10 lucky draw coupons. Hopefully, win a pair of tickets to FIR concerts. And i will sell it ! to earn $. to maybe my friend, Qing Liang, since he love them so much.

If is at shopping mall, i cant imagine how terrible the crowd will be. The fans were like outside transit mall waving to FIR.
Only a few Singaporeans and lucky Taiwanese. I am one of the few lucky ones. Wanted to call my fellow colleagues like the interns to join in... but saw the work schedule, hmmm.... those should be interested are not working!~ haha. too bad huh.

Today work is lousy. I admit it was all down to miscommunication. But i have learn so much from reading the book that it doesn't bother me a single bit now~ i am so glad. work is work. After work, lets forget such things. I got to have confidence in my work, in everything i does. be calm guys, nothing to be so worry about. It doesn't mean i don't bother in my work, but being so anxious does not solve anything. it only make things worse. Take what people say as a pinch of salt, Jaren. =) Thanks, but i'm still learning. everyone is learning from each other. =)

2008-07-07T17:56:00.003+08:00

This is one of the best book i ever read... the title may seem a bit too ya.... but in fact, i think everyone should read this for self improvement.

After reading, this has changed my entire opinion and way of thinking...

While waiting for my army, is time for me to improve myself in every sense be it in terms of dressing, thinking,etc. I don't play computer games because to me is such a waste of time. Instead, I read such books to bring myself a further level and beyond. upgrade my philosophy.

These are the key learning points:

* The only competition is to achieve greater personal growth and excellence in what he desires to accomplish.

* You must give yourself the right to make mistakes because it is through mistakes that your awareness is expanded.

* Yesterday love has been spent, tomorrow love is not here yet and today love must be earned.

* You cant help the way you feel about things, but you can help the way you think about and react to them.

2008-06-30T13:07:00.007+08:00

Australia, first country i went to!~

travel is the best thing I enjoy living on this world@~!

My first trip which keep me going... to Australia/ Bali ( Age 5 yrs old). My first time of sitting aeroplane which i fell in love so deeply. till now, my love has not change that explains why i love working in Airport...

Gold coast!!
Movie World... with my cousins/ aunties. so enjoyable with the companions!! I love the feeling of everyone being together.. enjoy the sights, the jokes (esp. my uncle and father) that's where the Tan family gene pass down to me!~ bleah... haha.
Family picture on board cruise. i still remember!~ haha. That was when i was 5 yrs old...
oh now, it has been 15 years since~~ time flies. And waits for no man. So do it when u can, anything !~

Sea World...
Stupid me dare not to push that duckie hands off .. i just let his hands over my face.
Yea, performance! i loved it at that time.. haha

Date reads: 18th Dec, 1993.

My uncle family with me inside at Bali..
Do i look like a malay when i was young??? NO
argh! i was so frustrated that i cant reach the height requirements. i want to take roller coaster! that was my thinking at age 5. lol.

2008-06-30T12:56:00.002+08:00

Euro 2008 is over... this is my first time where I have earn some $ in my betting... haha.

Is no good to bet so much i know. But once a while, for the fun of it only, and i have learn a lesson...
Betting is a form of relaxation, never bet too much on one match. I have learn a painful lesson.
Life is full of learning opportunities... lol. so betting also gave you something to learn. This is call the art of betting.

Yea, many people said Jaren is full of crap. So being crappy is a compliment or an insult? Becos good point is one is a joker? Bad point is one who talks rubbish? And no one will take your words seriously...

No, I am serious at time. Maybe it was just an impression that i gave ppl thru my conservations.
Crap?--> no.

Chill out with my dear friends at Clarke quay... nice setting, nice loud music.

Happy birthday to Xiu and fang rui!! So many humans birthday these 2 weeks. 9 friends brithday in these 2 weeks. tell me, why is it so cool to be born within these 2 weeks of the year? haha...

2008-06-26T12:04:00.002+08:00

What's relationship between boy and girl?
Recently, I encountered this case

A boy and girl about to get married.
House bought. Wedding dinner booked.
Rings bought. Invitation cards ready.
Date of Marriage booked.

Separated recently.
Tell me why, when 2 humans are so madly in love
About to get married
And they each go their own way now.
The only consolation is that:
They have not officially married.

Is it better ya this way than get married later and discovered differences.
Quarrel. . .

Another case,
Girl was heart broken because she was being dumped.
She desperately looking for love with any other boy.
Tell me, is that love or lust?

Another case.
Boy and girl madly in love.
Call / sms each other every hour.
Its just a dinner, but phone keep ringing.
It wasnt like that in the past.
Guess love changes everything.
If it make one happy, then go ahead.
Suan le, I have no comments.

To me, I only hope I will find the one and only her one day.
I admit I am virgin to boy-girl relationship.
I have almost zero experience as compared to my friends.
But I know I will find the only girl and marry her
I dun wish nor like the experience of ''trying out'' when my friends say that.
Try out? Is relationship a game to youngsters now?

2008-06-23T21:17:00.005+08:00

IT has been a nice week for mr jaren...

Went to many buffets for the past 4 days in a row, till now felt so guilty... i need to exercise more, cos keep eating but no sweat... cannot!~

Next: Exercise, exercise. exercise!!

My Justin birthday... 2 yrs old, yeah!~ =) My boy, he's just too cute and smart..

Went to acting assignment (Channel U show) during my off days.. it has been so difficult to change shift with my colleagues .... everyone cant seem to change with me... guess i have to live with it. =)

Venue: Classroom
Role: Student
To cheer for my ''classmate''... and to act as good student...

it has since a long time i took pics in sch uniform...the reason i took this was everyone was so bored waiting for the scene to go under camera, so we all whipped out camera and snap ... so i follow. lol.

2008-06-19T01:06:00.002+08:00

Many emotions running thru my head now after watching a tv show on channel U...

It recall my memories i had after years of travelling to the different countries... to me, I think travelling really opens up one mind. And the tv show only confirm my believe.

I have been to one of the poorest countries in the world- Cambodia. Ya, it is not so far away from Singapore. Its only 2 hr flight from Singapore. But yet, there the people are living in poverty... Unlike Singapore, our home country.

I always felt the most noble people would be the ones who care for the world, and not just themselves. I would take my hat off and respect those who unselfishly share their love with others in less developed parts of the world. They need our help, our concern.

In Cambodia, their houses tattered and torn. I have personally been to a poor village there and seen it myself. During rainy days, their house would be wet. But they are so poor to rebuild their house, they just sleep with it .... Their stomach bloated up, lack of nutrition.

Some of my friends ever commented in the past: '' Jaren is a stingy fellow.'' Last time, i tried to deny it... But actually, i am lazy to explain it cos i know they will say bullshit. So now, i have learn just to smile and try to ignore those comments. Because they don't know, i have always wanted to save up $ and further my studies.

Only able to support oneself, you can then give and help others. I would tried my best to provide myself with a comfortable life, and then i would help the less fortunate. My friends, if you do remember maybe i did say :'' Don't waste food... '' do you know why?? People do not have food to eat, i was so sad when i heard from first hand that they did not have $ to buy food. And the children i felt is most unlucky there.

I believe everyone should be given an equal chance/ opportunity to live. However, these kids due to their poor environment, they have nothing and have to work so hard. Deprive of their childhood and education which can lead to a better future for them.

When i am back in singapore, i see my friends around me. They spend wildly, eating out at high end restaurants, yes you can do that of cos! i admit i does that too once in a while to make myself happy ... but not so often i hope my friends. Why not just save up that expensive meal and donate to others ...

My friends buy the latest camera, latest handphone, latest whatever gadget... i'm not interested. Becos to me, as long as i can take pics, my handphone allows me to call, sms, and take pic that is enough already. what for do you need to have the latest and best gadget? To me, these are unimportant stuff.

What's important is to make this world a better place to live in, my fellow friends. I really hope to give back to the society one fine day and i know i would.. as the saying goes, nothing is impossible. Believe. And keep on working hard towards our goals.

2008-06-16T23:22:00.002+08:00

We often take things for granted. Not till one pass away, do we realize how impt he/she is.
I have seen examples of it.
And i dun want to fall into it.

I love my family.
I love my ah ma esspecially so.
She's the one always for me.
I'm glad i got to spend quality time with her whenever i am free.

Recently, my senior died in the army incident.
It is a sad thing to know such a young teenager,
Full of hope and energy,
Has sadly leave this world.

He aspires to be a pilot just like me.
I actually do envy him a little simply he got to fly or rather about to fly.
Flying is the greatest achivement for me if i can do so one day and i know i will
Be it privately or commerically, i will fufill my childhood dream.

Seeing at how people crying over his wake
Leaving comments about him
How good he was when he was alive,
How nice he is and stuff

I wonder really
What people will say of me?
I really dun want till the day on my deathbed,
Or in my wake,
I cant hear by then.

2008-06-14T21:49:00.007+08:00

I totally forget about my grad. photo. when i saw the env. which reads my name and grad. photos. and i was like '' what's this shit?? '' and it turns out to be these 2 photos...
Since i am here crapping about grad. photos, these are some fotos taken on that fateful day . . .

And this is my dear ah ma, who has taken the pain to take care Mr. Jaren during his days at temasek poly... thanks, ah ma!~
This is pig brenda . . . only got to know each other during our internship. weird. Wenqi behind. and he whined that he nv took foto with me.. there it is dude. u ''took photo'' with me ma.. indirectly.
My so call ''wife'' in temasek poly. hey, who's that lady behind sheryl.. boo. =)
The smart girl next door Ms Valerie Wee.

I realized my year 1 poly mates took photos without me inside.. haha. =) its okay, maybe i was MIA and they din notice me... =)

2008-06-12T18:15:00.004+08:00

My off day. finally. give me a break, kit kat somebody!~~ sleeping whole day, tonight wish me luck in soccer matches. =)

Cooking. =)

My egg.

New creation from Jaren's brain and years of cooking experience. haha. Taste a bit strange, maybe add too much liquor le. Its okay, room for improvement.
I still havent master the art of baking cookies and cakes... i would want to learn it... but the sad thing is i don't owe a baking oven at home. and it make senseless if i go and buy it. Someone *ahem* u know who you are... have baking oven, say want to bake for me to eat cookie, and try the P.Salad... till now, havent try leh... haha. =P

This was what use to be my Saturdays.. playing soccer at our home turf : Kembangan.
But now, it remains a distant dream for me. Watching EURO 2008, i really wish to get back on the field and show what a defender should do.

Yes, i believe i am born as a defender, not a striker. haha, i love to slide humans, and clear ball on the goal line. That's my job. Anw, guys, all the best in your army stint. If fated, we will meet in the army camp. =P

2008-06-09T20:47:00.005+08:00

when is my off day, he will be at my home ....

this is my play toy... =)

isnt he cute??

Take a look in the mirror, my baby justin!~ so cute~~
BBQ~~ Farewell party for my soccer group... time to go army, guys.

But before army, lets have mahjong!~~ lol. and EURO 2008. =)

Money for sale!~ ya, i am a old money collector... if u want to buy old $, look for me. i sell it at double the price. for example, old note S$1==> i sell for S$2. contact me if want.

2008-05-30T19:56:00.002+08:00

Everyday in the world around us,
real life angels are doing the things they do ...
And bringing more souls to the world around them

There are places within our hearts that can be filled with memories.
And there are places in our soul that can only be healed by the gentle hands of time . . .

2008-05-28T21:15:00.006+08:00

It has been a hectic week for Mr.Jaren...

I have been working non-stop since last Thursday... It has been 7 days for now le.. and is still counting...

3 more days of work to my OFF day.. so that will be 10 days working non stop for me. =) means more $ to save up.

Went for TV shooting on Tuesday at a sch in Hougang...

Has been 1.5 yrs since i last heard the word ''Cameras rolling in 4, 3, 2, 1... ACTION!'' and ''Cut''..
I don't really care what the end product will look like on TV.. haha. it is the $ that they pays me that counts. And is rather easy money i must admit. Instant cash. Now that they have my contact no. hopefully they can contact me again if they need what they like to call : EXTRAS...

Pay me the $ and i will do it.

Airport training... what they call the ''amazing race'' in the airport?~ whatever.

2008-05-26T23:46:00.001+08:00

有时我正在想：
世界是残酷的
他让我们拥有家与爱
但同时，他能轻易地把我们所拥有的一切剥取

妈妈的爱是伟大的
在地震里，
我见到了母爱，
令人情绪激动
我也不尽悲伤起来，
使到我眼泪汪汪似的

不要等到失去了他
才来后悔

那如果我先离开这个世界
我很想告诉我的家人
十分感谢你们一路来那无畏不之的照料
很想告诉她
其实我有多么地爱你
很想告诉朋友们
谢谢你们在我伤心难过，开心的时候
陪伴着我

2008-05-25T12:33:00.000+08:00

听到看到，他们无奈的样子，

我心里仿佛也碎了，

只求他们的痛苦会结束。。

只求他们可以象正常人一样。。

不再痛苦，不再接受旁人的眼光。。

2008-05-25T12:05:00.002+08:00

For the past few days
Staying at the airport
Allows me to see the unfortunate people
They were on a tour around the airport

They were young ones, old ones
Some shout loudly, some simply sleep on the ground for no reason
Some behave so excitedly, some were so quiet
Whenever i sees them, i felt how lucky i am now

Able to sit down and type this out without much trouble
Able to handle my daily needs on my own
It hits me that we should give/share our love
It is good to know that you are able to give back to the society

The volunteers were trying to contain them
Explaining to them what they are seeing
Trying their best to educate them
It really warms my heart to know that people still care for one another

If any of you guys know where to volunteer and would like to do so
Please do call me and i will try my best to make whatever available time I have on hand
Time is not a factor i think
Sharing love with the less unfortunate is the best reward one can get at the end of day

2008-05-24T11:50:00.002+08:00

Para 1:
Life is so cute.
God created such that 2 persons are far from each other
Your task is to find each other on this big earth.

Para 2:
Some people thought they have found it.
But cannot offically do things together.
Or even no time to do things together as what other couple does
They can only envy other couple on the streets.

Para 3:
Some people thought they have found the correct partner
Even to the extend of thinking/ preparations for marrying him
But till the last moment,
They break up and it hurts the party who all along had wishful thinking

Para 4:
Some people do not have partners
They envy people on the street
They told themselves if given an opportunity,
They could do much more. . .

Para 5:
Some people have loving people around them
But they did not think much about it
Nor do they treasure him/her
Till they realize . . . its too late.

2008-05-19T22:38:00.008+08:00

Last 2 weeks of fun:

Mahjong, Clubbing, night cycling, chilling out with dearest friends at cafe, talking crap, fun and laughter... =)

Sorry, Tze shuen, i cant go pubbing with you guys... i got to limit my spending ya and also i m working... =) But happy birthday, early wishes for you@! =O i remember your birthday la, don't be sad... that time it just slipped off my mind.. but i know when~!

Clubbing pics:
wushu rox!~ =P

Me and Xiao ling...
omg. why am i acting cute?? shit. lol.
the 2 wushu professional girls.. dun play with them.. or else.. ''die''
Xiao Ling (my owner) and me ( her penis) haha... omg. i remembered she call me once in canteen...while we playing in school...

''Penis, stop running!!'' in front of so many students!! i stop and pretend she not calling me sia... so malau...Come on, drink it down man...

Next, to night cycling... =)

this time with my sec sch class 4E... =O
Shots taken at Old changi hospital... damn haunted place... so dark!! we were trying to spot ghosts... but nothing.. only some sounds...

and kian siong was holding my hands so tight... guess what? all along, i heard someone talking...
and i turn back.. oh, it is kian siong chanting... i thought is some interesting noise. the girls dun dare to come up with us... lol.
Taken at the entrance of haunted place... me with my torchlight on.. haha.. trying to play a prank on them... only me with torch light.. boo. all last min never bring... lol.

the mad secondary sch boys.... =)
we cycle along the airport road... i love it! i saw my aircrafts taking off!!! my troubles fly off with them... and also i love to hear the loud engine noise of aircraft. i know i m seow..
aiya.. we are trying to act angry... but u see the 2 hands at the back, tze shuen!! u spoil the photos with your that hand!! haha..

2008-05-19T21:19:00.002+08:00

I was lost after the jungle walk.
I mis looked the map
And there I was
Far from my car park

Met this kind family of 5.
They offer to bring us back to our car park
We declined his kind offer, paiseh.
And he still waited for us 5 mins.

Then we decide to hitch his car
Becos is simply so far
A ride of 20 mins
I see kind people in s'pore.
I'm so touched,
Had he not offer the ride,
I think we have to track back 8 km of walk?

Thank you Stranger!
You made my day =)

2008-05-19T00:51:00.002+08:00

Put me to sleep,
Ya, is there a pill to pop and let me forget
Things that I should just forget

Just remind to wake Jaren up at age 25
Haha, I'm just console-ing myself
Is that the magical age for me?

No, not truth, dun read too much into it Jaren.
Just be yourself.
I'm now having damn low confidence now.
That's isnt it what I want.
Something got to be done.

Where's the ans?
Or the ans I have already knew?
Or there is no answer to such a Question?
Only time will tell, reveals everything
Time.

Standing beside you,
Makes everything seem so encompassing.
As long as you keep me accompany,
Quietly will be enough.
Just your prescene alone is more than enough for me.
We will hold our hands together
And quietly gaze the stars above us.
Together, we work towards our dream.
Every word, every sentence
To be filled with our smiles.
I'm still waiting for you
To quietly love me.
Quietly holding our hands together,
Is the simpliest dream

2008-05-15T22:07:00.003+08:00

Japiur- The Pink City . . .

This was where Jaren stood 3 weeks ago...

And today, read the newspaper, BOMB BLAST!!
This is where the bomb took place, in front of this tourist attraction.

I saw the pics on the newspaper, recalled my memories, the scene,
I cant imagine what it would be now....
It was already CHAOS, now it is VERY CHAOS....

Blood all over, people crying, dead bodies lying on the road, ambulances, medic staff,
I'm not surprised all these shops u see in this pictures are now all torn by the bomb. Some of them are dead.

I'm so grateful i have been to such places before all these happen.
Japiur is a nice city, filled with pink walls, romance,
But now is filled with red blood.

Likewise, Earthquakes hit China, Chengdu.
I'm grateful that i have been there already.
Seeing images of the scene there now,
Recall the time i had there.
Exactly the same,
Only that now the buildings that i seen collapse.
Some people i saw on the streets may not be around now.
Life is precious, get what i mean?

Sri lanka.
Fight with tamil tigers recently again.
I count myself bless that nothing happens when i was there 2 yrs ago.
No fight, but strong police presence all over the country.

I'm not saying i travel a lot, compare to other people who really been to so much countries,
until i really envy them...

But I felt pissed off when i see people in Singapore who don't give a single care about world news
That's happening around us.
''It's not my business'' some said.
I feel a tinge of sadness when i heard that.
It only underline that they have not seen the world, they are selfish.
They don't know what the world is outside, only they themselves and their house.

I feel sad for them in fact. =X
I mean this is not the way to think ba, i feel.
Just becos you are living safely in singapore,
you think is none of your business?!?!

Ya, true, what can you do even you know...
but at least read the news and understand.

I heard kids in Singapore demand before:
They expect their parents to give them PS, Games, Travel to places they like (E.g. Japan)
They only travel to well developed countries and see the rich people live.
when they come back, they only get more envy and jealous.

But if kids go to poorer countries like Cambodia,
Only then you will understand. Seeing is believing.

For example, plastic spoons we use once and throw away
do you know that when i saw people in India when they eat,
they use cardboard to act as a spoon.
Simply because they don't have $ to buy plastic spoon.

2008-05-11T05:02:00.007+08:00

Me and Wen Qin clubbing scene.

My 2 girl- friends... Clubbing. (wushu friends)

The time reads 5.02am now.
I am just back from my zouk outing(clubbing with my wushu friends)
I feel so much sober now.
Clubbing scene...

So sorry, girl.
If I'm not wrong,
Her name was Esther.

Although i know she don't know my blog,
But somehow rather,
I feel so guilty.

I just wanna say : '' I'm sorry, girl. ''
Maybe all off a sudden,
Because I'm so drunk,
I flirt with this girl on the dance floor.

I admit, never in my life,
Did i feel so ''happy'' and high...
I didn't know her at all!
But i admit she looks sexy.
Sorry, but somehow rather,
She was the first to start the ball rolling.

She asked me why i keep bumping into her?
And i apologies to her.
After which, she invited me to dance with her.
I seriously dunno what am I thinking.

I began to dance with her.
I admit i put my hands around her.
I'm sorry. To think back, so sorry.

She whispered to my ear,
''You are so cute, boy''
Yes, i am a human.
Naturally, I feel flattered by her words. .

And we dance with each other
For quite a while,
Don't ask me how long it was,
Because i am really so drunk.
I dunno anything, except i admit i feel so ''high''.

Until she gave me a pat on my cheeks.
I really dunno if it was a kiss or not,
But what i know,
when she does that,
She was not my girlfriend.
Nor do i know her well.

I shoved her away and apologies to her.
Sorry, girl, I didn't know what i was doing.
Likewise, i'm sure you are also drunk.
I moved away and party with my other friends.

My friends thinks i m drunk.
I never admit i was.
But i think i am really drunk.
I spent around $100 on this clubbing.

Don't ask me what i spent.
I dunno what i m doing.
I just know i pay and pay.
I even use my driving license
Thinking it was my credit card to pay for the drinks.
And i sign 3 times,
Because i cant find the line to sign.

So sorry, my friends.
I m really drunk.
At one moment,
I even send wrong sms to people.
Now i look back,
I send sms to Brenda and Tze Shuen.

For what?!?!
I dunno what i m doing.
I only know my head is spinning.
So i went out at 3am.
Waited for Xiaoling for 1 hour.

I'm sorry,
I couldn't really protect her.
I tried to shove her away from the surroundibg guys.
I admit, we guys are beast sometimes.
Taking advantage of girls.
That was the girl... i think. sorry!~

But you got to control yourself.
I feel so sorry to that girl.
But the guys surround my friend who was a girl,
hug her, as a friend, I got to protect her.
I tried to, but she keep going back to the guys arms.

I was giddy at that time too.
So, i waited for her to come out with my other friend
Who i instructed to keep an eye on her.

My friend wanted to go back with the guys.
Seow ar, how well you know them?
Girls, if you are reading this now,
please do not let us guys take advantage of you.
I think guys are inhuman if you take advantage of girl who is drunk.

I admit i did just now.
I'm sorry.

Later, I realize that this girl- friend of mine
Was heart broken,
The boy left her for another girl.
Hey, I understand.
I have been thru it before.

There's no need to make yourself so drunk.
You will still remember once you are sober.
Please, do treasure your body.
Although she keep saying she's not drunk,
But still,
There's no need to let the guys touch you.

Lastly, I just wanted to say
I feel guilty to what i did just now.
I'm really sorry.
I should not behave like that.
Even if she is drunk...

2008-05-09T22:10:00.003+08:00

The world is so big out there.
Being just a tenant on this Earth,
Why must we fight for authority,
Fight for power, fight for money.

Yes, Money is king.
Money, fame, power,
They are all just materialistic stuff.
Having them does not necessarily mean happy.

Travel, look at the world, friends.
You will get to realize that money cant buy you happiness
Why must people trying to out wit, out do each other?
Take a break, look at the world in the bigger picture.

What's life? Isnt it to be happy?
Stop fighting for power.
Money cannot be earn enough, my friend.
Why must colleagues/ people play political game?

2008-05-09T21:18:00.002+08:00

I accidentally saw the pictures online taken (you and him together)
Think you are really happy now.
Hopefully, he is the one that you are looking for.
Hopefully, he treat you good.

I have nothing to say.
I think I myself have choose to distance away from you.
Knowing that you are happy,
Is enough for me.

Go and enjoy life with him. =)
I have in fact lots to say
But now, I just pray for you.

^^[hospitality & touR*is^M] ^%^^* j@R#3N