finally, the date has come. sobs of tears rolled down my face when i was in the car driving out of the camp. one last look at my camp, bye in my heart, that's it.

enuf of my 2 yrs in there. enuf of NS. now i have done my part as a male citizen.

is time to do things i really love to do. New zealand trip will be the first out of many that i will embark to do.

1 yr ago, in 2009, i was on the bed at this time @ CGH hospital. after my leg operation. feeling lonely, moody, sad, pain on my leg. thinking of her.

1 yr later, ORD! got my pink IC back... back on track to where i paused in my life. time to resume and now definitely with more jest. army taught me time is precious, dun wait,act. that is why i am going on my NZ trip in 2 days time. i acted upon it. and draw out goals for myself. i know i can achieve it!

i just saw her photos on fb with him .... they are very close. Jealous, i am not. i just feel maybe time was not on my side at that time. I was never presented with the opportunity. I had to serve the army when he has completed his NS and go studies and now internship with her. Maybe god has other plans i believe. it makes me more determine to treat the one, the truly and only one better if I have find her in the near future. If it really mean that i met them on the streets one day, I will surely go up front and shake their hands and give them my fullest blessings.
knowing that she is well taken care of, I'm glad for her.

ok. back to my ownself. Jaren! now that I have ORD, i will now put words into action. SURELY.
jiayou for myself. pat on my shoulder. If i can wait for this day for 1 yr plus, I can surely put everything into place for myself, my life, my career, my family, my love, in place. I WILL.

DATED 22 OCT 2010

5 more working days to ORD, finally!!!! happy deep down in my heart.

lazy to write blog. below attached is an email i wrote to my good friend, Brenda.



hey dear

hmm... all of a sudden, i cant sleep after seeing the photos on facebk.... i thought i shld be fine, i thought those photos ''he'' was not inside... but he is... i saw pamela photos on facebk.... and she has moved to USA for her internship.... good that she arrive there safely. i dunno when she was suppose to fly there, but guess is now on fb ''day 1 USA'' guess she just arrived there ... i saw ''him'' in the fotos... last time, she asked me if she should do her internship, and i told her do what u thing is right... but now i saw ''him'' in USA with her, although they are in a group, i somehow felt that is it becos of him? she is in USA? when she will come back in sg? but evne she is back in SG, we didnt contact each other.

makes no difference. thou in my heart, i would really want to ask her '' how she is recently, seriously, not the kind of standard ans like ''i m ok''... i wanted to know how my fren is doing in other countries... but guess when i send her a message on fb, her ans i can feel is not so keen in answering. short ans. guess i m a little sensitive. maybe.

but somehow or rather, i feel like asking pam, just a casual question, nothing else, i wonder where is the winnie the pooh soft toy i gave her, the diary i hand make for her, the letter i wrote for her... is it dumped under a bed in SG, or is it thrown away/lost in Swisszerland (ok, guess she dun bring it at all in the 1st place), or is it in USA (highly unlikely), how's her dog

anw, i did wish her before and it remains the same, as long as she is fine, guess that's enuf. i saw maltida photos too on fb the small display pic... i didnt want to click her profile page, cos i know it will hurt too.. haha... (suddently, i feel like loser) anw, glad that she is happy and fine with Keat. Saw her once on the street, she look rather gloomy, thought she have a fight with keat, but lucky keat treat her good and she's happy.

what is yrs, will be yours, what is not, will never be.. the same applies to you and me and everything. i have tried and fail. but at least i try. and i learnt from it.

and ya... i remember is yr singing audition, how is it.... have confidence getting into next round? shouldnt be a problem for u ya bren! jiayou! jiajun jiayou! bambi & aiko jiayou too.. haha. i wanted to sms u that day, but i didnt cos i afraid it will distract u or maybe even worse, when u perform, the sms ring tone goes off.... (maybe i think too much, where got so qiao... haha, but i did think at that time)

anw, 5 more working days to ORD!!! my pink IC is back to me on This coming FRIDAY!!! 22/10/10... my freedom! seriously, i miss my IC so much... the privileges come with it. i have never feel respected in my army life, never, till now i am the most senior servicemen there, is the same. the juniors are very bitchy batch. only a few good ones I feel comfortable with. and i will forever remember those who help me when i am down at that time... in year 2009, is the worse year in my 22 yrs of life.... many things happen, ah ma health scare, my 2 operations, heartbreak relationship, mum didnt do well in work, financial problems, nv felt being respected in army, was scolded many times and laughed at behind....

but it did wake me up in Dec 26 when i was drunk during xmas party at my fren hse, read self improvement books, motivate myself, and set goals for myself in years to come... and i m happy to say that most of the goals set in 2010 i have done it, except 2 of it. thou yr 2010 havent end, so i cant count my chickens before they hatch. but knowing that what i wrote in Jan, now it seem to be working towards it... slowly but surely.

recently back from my holiday in Hainan Island, china, the floods there terrible. i saw chinese armies, marching on the road, trying to save ppl, ppl on top their roof trying to get rescue, i think these are all images we singaporeans can only seen on TV news. but when u see it in real life, u can feel it much more. Singaporeans dun bother much abt news for youngsters, they bother more about how their facebk games are going abt... such a differnt mentaility.

i saw huge tourism potential in Hainan Island and Sri lanka the last time i went, i dream of opening resort ya... so much untapped potential i feel... from these 2 places... apart from elsewhere. the market and demand is there.

anw, 7 days time, i will be flying off to New Zealand.... for my dream holiday. this is my goal actually i set for myself, and i have action on it, having been the planner from the start till now... and next week, is time for me to execute and make sure things go smoothly.... as plan if possible.

i shld be going to Indonesia with my friend, but now he told me he is busy earning $.... disappointed. guess is nv easy to arrange overseas trip, only a short trip to Batam also cannot.
so i planning to go Miri-- East Malaysia, fly to Kota Kinabalu then fly to Miri, caves walking. world famous caves with my mum. guess she is now the only companion in travel. lol.

sometime, i am also human. like now so late 4.50am... i dunno who to call and talk to... so i wrote this email. how funny is that it reminds me of Maltida saying call her whenever i need someone to talk to... but also not right, how shld i talk to her... will be a crazy guy if i call, she has her life to lead... :)

reply me ya... hope to see yr email before i ORD and fly off to New zealand.. =) long time din hear from u....

take care dear!

xxxxx jaRen –Yong jiA--

xxxxx 20 yrs old

xxxxx TemaseK polYtechniCcc

xxxxx Tourism Student (hospitality)

xxxxx Kem football club member

xxxxx Sentosa Academy football club member

xxxxx Wheel chair ( lammers)club

xxxxx SEA River Club

xxxxx Jersey no: 11, 3

xxxxx ex-manjusri wushu club

xxxxx love his ah ma