4am

and i am awake once again at this weird hour... where most ppl are asleep. all of a sudden, i dunno why i began to count the time over in Europe, thinking of the things she must be doing now.

i dun want to be so emotional now really. i love to change. but everytime i would think of that. wonder how she has been doing. see on facebook her friends say miss her.... do u know, i also so much wanting to tell her, i miss her too. I MISS U... i dunno why did i fell in love with you too at the wrong time. it has always been the wrong time for me in both cases. tell me god, when would be the correct time, then i would say finally.

so much to say in my heart to her. but i couldnt say of cos. i dun want to keep in my heaer those things... but yet i dunno where i shld throw those words away... i hate facebook now cos i sometimes get to see her pics there... enjoying herself.... yes, i am happy that she is happy... but with the other guy there... very strange feeling.

remember the day when i gave her the diary i made for her.... it really took me much effort. i remember i was a cripple that time yet i still went to buy the diary and made at home... the efforts everyday sitting down... sometime as long as 7 hrs... just to do the diary. i tried my best, was happy each time i sat down doing it. thinking how and what to say to her when i gave her...

but the reality always the opposite. when i gave her at the crowded shopping mall, not the ideal place i thought of giving her. and so crowded at that time cos is xmas period. ppl happily shopping while i bid farewell gift to her. and most digusting thing is i gave it to her in front of her boy she likes.... so weird. i am sure the boy is laughing at me in his heart. i am not dumb. so i am like a fool.... again?

if i am given a chance, do u know how much i would do.

becos of her, my close friend was angry with me. and now, i really want to change. but i need time to recover. i want to recover now too really, but i just can't.

blog. best way to let my feelings pen down. i dunno.... god, i always trust in him. he will guide me to the happiness path and find the real girl i really deserved. till the very day i find the one, i would love the one alot. really. swear.

today date: 07 jan 2010. time flies, 2010 already. how long more god?

xxxxx jaRen –Yong jiA--

xxxxx 20 yrs old

xxxxx TemaseK polYtechniCcc

xxxxx Tourism Student (hospitality)

xxxxx Kem football club member

xxxxx Sentosa Academy football club member

xxxxx Wheel chair ( lammers)club

xxxxx SEA River Club

xxxxx Jersey no: 11, 3

xxxxx ex-manjusri wushu club

xxxxx love his ah ma