Now still at the airport stoning... 7 more hrs to go. 3am, when everyone is Zzz.. me awake. Thinking deep...

Looking at the aircrafts, my favourite since young, wish to be a pilot. But now i have a more realistic target of being part of an employee with SQ.

Remember all the past happy times... So , i decide to post this blog:

You are the Sun, the Moon
I am the star searching for you
How can I ever explain it
The colours that you bring into my life
Its you

Fallen for you
I have really fallen for you
With all my heart
I know this is true right from the start
And of all my dreams
This love will grow deep within
I cant help myself
Just to tell you
I have fallen for you

IMF Part 3.

Right now, i am at airport mac stoning in front of the computer. Now my pastime is temporary looking at chio bu at the airport. So you must be wondering what is Mr. Jaren doing at the airport ya?

I have been at the airport for 48 hrs already...still counting. Btw, i have an important task at hand. And That is to carry IMF degelates Luggage. THis is very imp, i ensure the baggage reach safely from the airport to the hotel. Make sure not to let the protesters along the street to snatch the important documents.

Staring hard at the luggage handlers. 1 piece of luggage arrive, 5 people crowd around. Nono, they are doing important task. 1 touch the bag, the second one make sure its from IMF delegate. THe third one paste sticker. Fourth one makes sure everyone is doing smth. The fifth & most imp one will carry the luggage.

So do we still allow foreign talent people to come and protest? I am rather happy that the S2006 committe allow people to protest. So it show we here is safe and open society.

But the amount of space allow is enuf?

Yea. Of course. You see, at first protesters are not allow to come, so they decide to go Batam Island. Then , not all protesters will protest at the same time. If the area is fully occupied by protesters, then sorry lo, too bad. Next time.

I went to check out at the venue..

Authority: ''You, ya, the one with the banner over the head, your turn to register. ''

Protester: '' Which one? here everyone have banners.''

Authority : '' EXcuse me. WE here got queue one la. Here everyone also need to queue. Of course is the next one in the queue. Quick ar, still have so many ppl queuing.
Give me your passport, local or foreginer? Pink, blue, green or boh card? ''

Protester: '' Huh? What colour?What card?''

Authority: '' Walau leh, I mean you is Singaporean, PR, non-resident or what?'Boh means
dun have.''

Protester: '' Ar, yaya, i professional protester. ''

After wating for 6 hrs in the queue...

Protester: '' yes! yes ! at last i can protest. Thanks for giving me the chance. ''

Authority: '' Sorry hor, we have time limit. Due to the record number of protesters, you are only allow to have 5 mins to protest. And you are not allow to shout, cause distrubance. Please read the 100 Do & Don't first. ''

Yea. Yea. I received my results le. shall say it some other time. I dunno my GPA yet. BUt rather disapointed. And for those ppl out there, if you dont like my video, Dun listen la. I ask u to listen meh... Shall have no comments posted for the you-tube video. To all who praise it, thanks a lot!

Today topic will be BUDGET TOUR ==> What if Ah Beng lead a tour around Singapore. Check it out!

Singapore aims to be a tourism hub. Being a Toursim student myself, of cos i am happy. It look bright for the future ya?? aiya- bright as in not dark ar...



So you See, if we want to attract tourist, who shld we turn to? IMF delegates!? Money Spenders tourist?! medical tourist(got problem no problem, come to Singapore) !? NONO.. all wrong.

You see. We have budget terminal. We have budget hotel. Of course we are attracting budget tourist. So what must we have? Yea! right! we must have Budget tour. Everything, Singapore is a budget tourist place... Welcome. Bonjour. Ni hao. Hi. Merci. Hali-tardo.

Due to recent foreign talent scheme, Ah Beng lost his job as a cleaner. So he decided to set up a business where he sure there will not be competition from Foreign Talent people. SETTING UP BUDGET TOUR.

Ah Beng : '' Hihi. My name is Tan Ah Kow. But becos a lot of non-singaporeans dunno how to pronounce my name, you can simply call me as Ah Beng. Ya, You have just landed at budget Terminal. Dun worry, You have more budget things here. ''

Tourist: '' Wah, ah ah ah.. ben... ''

Ah Beng :'' huh? nono. is AH Beng. come. Repeat after my name... ar good. Yes, Mr Tourist? ''

Tourist :'' Yes yes, we now very hungry. anywhere to eat first? ''

Ah Beng :'' Dont worry, my Sir. We will be arriving at Geylang in 20 mins time depending on my vehicle position if you heng heng, then will not break down. ''

Tourist: '' huh? Heng heng? what is that? Gay-Land. ?? ''

Ah Beng: '' Ar.. nono. Not Gay land. is Geylang. Very Famous. I am sure you will like it except your wife.. hee. ''


Ah Beng :'' ar... Welcome to Geylang. yaya, a lot of ppl, a lot of traffic lights, a lot of lights, Very colourful. Ya, you all eat eat? ya, come down ...''

Tourist: '' Ah Beng! I have a question. What is this for? ''

Why? Who call US? That ang mo calling me okay. nono, is me.

Ah Beng: '' Sorry everyone. he callin me, not you all. Mr Tourist, You must know when not to call Ah Beng. Becos at Geylang, everyone here has the same name- Ah Beng. ''

These are call durians.sorry. wrong picture. Below is the correct one.
Tourist: '' Ar.. tourguide then, can we go back to hotel?''
Ah Beng:'' Of cos can la, ar. U see, follow my directions, walk straight, turn left, See the word <>? ''

Tourist: '' then luggage how? ''

Ah Beng: '' You seow ar. Luggage, you drag yourself la. harlo sir, Budget Tour leh.. Tmr, we will have Shopping at Bedok market place. ''

IMF part 2.

Look at the flowers. Faster go snap pictures before the flower bo liao. Argh, better be fast ar. After Sept, you dun have this chance anymore.

World Bank, IMF committe not happy with Singapore leh. why?

We have such strict rules which dun allow protesters to come into Singapore Land. All our borders have been very extra strict, screening potential protesters out. But of cos la, we are very strict ok. This show that we are governed well ya?!

No smoking. No eating at public places. and we also will be fine if we bluff the authorities. Remember once, people say he order chicken rice dun want chicken, and was given only rice. And there was a big quarrel and lead to Court case for bluffing when they replay the camera??

This actualli reminds me of a song: There was a time when people say Singapore too strict, And we are. There was a time when people say Singapore are not freedom-free, and we are. This is my country, these are my friends, we are unique in an uniquely place.

I went to check out at one of the Borders ....

Officer: ''Hi, how's your day. Ya. You must be a delegate ya? Welcome to Singapore. You see that banner on top. Ya, is our 4 million people smilling at you. Ya, say hi back to them ok? ''

Delegate: '' Feel so weird.. nono, I mean feel so welcome here, when there are like 4 million smile...''

Officer: '' No problem. As a delegate, we have BMWs waiting for you outside. Ya, along the way, please do take notice of the flowers grown specially for you. Dont forget to Spend money too~! sorry, I mean enjoy your time here ''

After the delegate, there was this man with lots many bags...

Officer: '' Hi Sir, you look very familar. ''

Man: '' huh? Do I? cool....''

Officer: '' No, Since when Singapore is cool, so hot here. I mean your picture seems to appear in the TOP 100 PROTESTERS list. Please follow me there..''

Man: '' oh gosh, Dont tell me they really does their homework? ''

Officer: '' Ar... harlo. Stop talking to yourself. Come. Sorry ar, according to our database, you are a professional protesters who has a history of going around the world to protest ya for the past 10 years. You are not allow to enter Singapore. ''

Man: '' Oh ****, then how? ''

Officer: '' Dont worry, my friend... You can still go to Batam. Ya, the next available flight to there is 30 mins later. We Singapore dun have the space for you to protests. So sorry ar, but dun be mistaken, we welcome you to Singapore.. Some other time.''

The protester man feel so rejected. ''Attention to all protesters, your next flight to Batam is 30 mins later. Kindly rush to the boarding gate now. Last Call. ''

eh.. btw, do they have flights from Sing-Batam??

superidol

Blah Blah black ''sheet''.. Another Song for our Mr contestant..

superidol

When judge meet a hip-hop contestant. Yo yo yo...

Have you watch Singapore idol, project superstar, superhost, superband, or the secondary school version of campus superstar?
What is the use of having judge when the results depend on the no. of calls each contestant received? A reporter check it out on one of the top 10 idol contestants the secret of success....


The following will be you-tube videos produced by XXX maganzine. Listen to it and you will have an insight of life of the judges....

Since other country have their idol contest, why not we singapore be creative? We can have 'Who is Singapore next top model?'' Erm... sorry, I mean.. ''Who can be Singapore next top idiot? '' This show no need to make phone calls, the winner is determine by the no. of eggs being thrown at him/her over a period of 10 weeks.

'Sir, what would be the prizes be ar? ''
'Good Qn, the prizes would be : A contract worth of 2 years with an idiot magainze posing idiotic pictures. '

super idol Part II

What happen when judege meet a nervous contestant... ''Hey, give me a chance..!''

super idol

Ever wondered what is life of the judges behind the audition room? the sufferings they have...

What do parents worry about when their child just begin to drink??

Not knowing how to speak proper ENGLISH? Don't know who should be call daddy, mummy? Fighting and bashing up his younger siblings? snatching money from beggers dow nthe street?

NONO.. all wrong. Parents worry about their child education : Which school they should register their primary 1 kid? How to ensure 100% their kid will study at the so call ideal sch, 100% gurantee will score 'A's....??

Good school cause Not so good school to have less ''business'' as all parents gather around good school only.

Think no further. Parents uses all kinds of methods. They move house (Within 1Km of sch radius), do volunteer work, such as Mrs. Lim here>>>

Mrs Lim: '' Hello, Good morning to Mr Principal. Wah, you today very handsome. Wha, your school here very nice. Wha, the humans here all so polite. ''

Principal: '' Ya, Madam, what you want to say? ''

Mrs Lim :'' actually I think my....''

Principal:'' I know what you want to think. You want me to let your child come in right? Sure. No problem. You refer to the list of criteria that is specify on the website.''

Mrs Lim:'' Thank you! This time my boy boy sure get in here.''

Principal:'' Next parent, Your turn!''

Many parents do volunteer their service when their child just learn crawling. And complain when their child not selected into the primary sch. But they do not know almost every parent in Singapore does that for their kid... Some people even camp at the school for nights just to be the 1st one to register their kid.

Parents with kids going to primary school get busy every year around August to get their kids into TOP primary school.

Mr & Mrs Lim is a couple (dotZ) and they go for this ballot session..........

Principal: '' Harlo to all papa & mama, now we begin our ballot for Primary 1 slots. ''

Mrs Lim:'' Darlin, you think our boy boy will get into this primary school?''

Mr Lim:'' Don't Worry. You do volunteer work since our boy boy 1 year old. ''

Mrs Lim:'' Have you bring what I told you to bring? ''

Mr Lim:'' Yes, Dont worry. I bring knife, sissors, staple bullets, pins, all ready. ''

Mrs Lim:'' Good. Make sure you sharpen your knife well ar? I dont want boy boy to be like his sister when she fail to get into the primary school. You try and stab that principal, but he never even bleed. Cos your knife not sharp. ''

Mr Lim:'' Yes, dear. Rest assure. This time principal sure die if boy dun get in. ''

Principal: '' Ar... harlo.. NO talking please. Yes, you two. Dont look around. Yes, the one who is pointing to himself. I say NO talking PLS. ''

Mrs Lim:'' Sorry sorry, continue Mr Pricnipal. ''

Principal: '' Thank you for coming to our annual balloting primary 1 slot session. I shall announce the name of the child now.... ''

Other parent:'' YES. YES.... !''

The Mr Lim family ah boy did not get choosen. So how? Dont worry... they make sure principal change his mind by taking out the weapon from the bag.

The next post will be about Beng leading a tour group. I may include youtube videos next but in the format of podcast due to human resource restraint. ( aiya, simply mean no actors lah.. =0 )

xxxxx jaRen –Yong jiA--

xxxxx 20 yrs old

xxxxx TemaseK polYtechniCcc

xxxxx Tourism Student (hospitality)

xxxxx Kem football club member

xxxxx Sentosa Academy football club member

xxxxx Wheel chair ( lammers)club

xxxxx SEA River Club

xxxxx Jersey no: 11, 3

xxxxx ex-manjusri wushu club

xxxxx love his ah ma