What do you call them??
Singaporeans call them FOREIGN TALENT.
Hot topic of the month: FOREIGN TALENT
huh? why we need foreign talent?! we no humans here meh? we not much competition meh? why still need to have more people here to crowd with us? 4 million smiles not enough ar?
argh... nono.. listen. I justify for you all why we need foreign talent.
But first, why we need to come up with measure on how to attract non-singpaorean when humans come here themselves willingly. Why I say so....
If you free, go Geylang. see those girls stnading there... ya. I call them FOREIGN TALENT. They got talent okay, if no talent, how they earn money. we never attract them to come, but thye love to come.
yaya.. i heard that. u complaining why the picture so small rite? hey, it is photographed secretly leh..
See our maid. they are also foreign talent. U think you know how to do housework better than them? Dun make a fool of yourself la, are you able to wake up 4am in the morning to wash the car and sleep at 12am after you have clean the house TWICE?? Maybe we should employ them and teach us how to tidy the house. Diploma in Household Domestic Chores. sounds good ar. U go find work, tell them u have this diploma.. not bad ar.
Looking at the construction site, I also see foreign talent. Who gonna build our house for the 4 million smilling people and growing? Singaporeans cant tahan in the construction line. Perfect example: You heard of AH ** (cannot say out his name, later kanna whacked by his fans). AH ** cannot tahan the hard work, so he now go sing.
Nowadays, people say our english more lousy-ier. So how? Our solution is to employ FOREIGN TALENT. But is always foreign talent the best way out? A particular poly in Singapore employ foreign talent. This chinese speaking teacher can even write a book in English. Foreign talent mean foreign talent. They can write book leh. Her results of the students even better. Over 50% of the students fail the paper. so how? The school earn more $ because they took sub paper. So u see the difference? Foreign talent help the school to earn more $. Good. Good. Good....
Can you imagine what will Singapore be in 10 years down the road...
Year 2016:
Father: '' Son, what you want to eat? ''
Son:'' I want to eat Soupe à l'Oignon gratinée '' ( Its a food from france)
Father:'' Semi lai ai ( what is that in dialect) You want to try Laska?''
Son:''huh? what sa... ''
Father:'' Oh, you want satay?! ''
Son:'' huh? nono... what tay...''
Father: '' Oh, you want to drink teh (tea in hokkien) huh?Drink kopti better.''
Son:''huh? what pi... ''
Father: ''Oh, you want pizza huh..''
Son:'' nono... argh. ''
So you see it now? we will be having communication problem with our children if we import foreign talent, MAYBE?
Next few post will be on
- Think no one looking at you? Dun forget, we have security camera all over the island. Smile, you are on candid camera.
- What happen when you have uncle ah beng leading tour group around Singapore?
- Singapore Idol, Superstar, Superband, Superhost competition.. What else?
all will be revealed on the next few issue. So dont go away, stay in front of the computer till the next post is uploaded...
IMF. what is the first thing that come into your mind?
people, security, cars, meetings....? Many people comin into singapore- a global city??
But the first thing come into my mind is Protest. yea, right, correct,spot-on, P-R-O-T-E-S-T.
Protest?!?! Singapore?
yea, right, correct, spot on. Singapore not only welcome foreigners, but we can & should also welcome protesters. Dun look down on them .
you see ar. When a potential protester arrive in Singapore, he will:
1) Stay in 5 star hotel so as not to disgrace his country fellow mates
2) Buy dustbin to throw at police during protest, buy marker & paper to make banner, buy sissiors, glue, wah... simply buy lots of things
3) they come in group to make up the number
See they can bring in large money for S'pore economy. So say ''YES' to protesters instead. think of how the economic would benefit.
After their protests, they will be sent to police station for a chat. then later which they will be able to shop, eat and tour the attractions here... see how good it will be.
Singapore no riots, no protest... but can the police handle protest?
Yes. why not. they had show it to us ( watch Crimewatch) and even had a demo. you can say they have a trial demo? How many years has the Riot Police in Singapore been called into action. ever since 1970.... ??
The international group wants to stage protest. they make it loud and clear to us, Singapore. But we also make it loud and clear to them: WE don't tolerate protest here.
But do we? or should say can Singaporeans Protest? Do we have the skills required? Do we have the courage? Do we even dare to say & speak out?
I did a check and this is one of the responese i get.
Me: '' Hi Sir, The IMF is coming to Singapore...''
Sir: '' yes, so what the IMF. Is it my problem? no. is just the same IMF meeting they held every 2 year. ''
Me:'' But sir, this time is different. Singapore Dont allow protest. ''
Sir: '' No, you wrong boy. You should say Singaporeans dunno what is the correct way to stage protest. They dun even know how to make BANNER. what protest you talking about?''
Me: '' But... but the foreigners coming to s'pore to stage protest... but they are not allow for now. ''
Sir: '' Singaporeans not say dun want to protest. But they dun have the time. ''
Me:'' why u say that sir?''
Sir:'' You see, Singapore people no time, time is money. We no need to work huh... no need to study huh. Where got time and effort. we are the bo chap people. better dun be busybody. later kana stay in jail. ''
My conclusion is that this year IMF meeting will be boring. why? becos unlike previous meeting, people can protest. if there is protest, police will be busy. if police is busy, there will be show and news to report.
MaYbe police will also be glad that they have at last something to do?? After so many years of taking tax payer money, they are able to get into work if there's protests. able to show off what they have learn during their training.
Imagine how it will be if there is a protest here...:
Ah boy: '' Papa, bring me to suntec. ''
Papa: ''Why? there so tight sercuity. Very mafan. ''
Ah boy: '' Nono, because I love to see how people protest? ''
Papa: '' True, it has been more than 20 years since i last seen. let's go. ''
Ah boy:'' Wah.. papa, police spraying water. looks fun. lets have a bath with them!''
Papa: '' Cool. wait. I go buy pail. so we can collect water back home for use. You know, Singapore water very expensive. Collect more water= Save more. ''
Singapore pools. Nono... not swimming pool in Singapore. BUT money pool to putters. An organsiation that do charity work??? all will be revealed in this series...
In the past,there is only 4D on sat & sun. But now you have
Strike, 4D on wed ( cos they realise sure win business, why restrict only to weekends?), Score, Toto..... is there horse racing ar?
we often hear that betting no good. You gamble your life away. But somehow, You can bet with us. bet more. win more. (but also lose more)
Every Sat, Sunday, u see people queing outside Singapore Pools. For what?
Singaporean hobby- love to queue ma?
Singaporeans mindset: Singapore Pools- A place where Gold Bar are stacked behind the locker room?? Go grab it. Try your luck.
Their Aim: To be a rich human asap ( just in case u dun koe, ASAP mean as soon as possible)
Their Mission: To win money back from Singapore Pools.
Their Results: Lose MORE MONEY to Singapore Pools.
Isnt this familar to many locals here? 
NO ONE will say u smart if u know what this is. BUT people will say u stupid if u don koe what this is. And so i did a survey here.
Me: '' Uncle, u know what this is? ''
Uncle: '' Of course know la. My house got a lot of such paper. U singaporean? why you dont know?''
Me: '' Uncle, i really dunno what this is. But i see a lot of people have. Is it a must have thing in Singapore?''
Uncle: '' Of course la. This is like money to us. Just that it is in paper. We pray that this will turn into real cash every sat, wed & sunday ma. ''
Me:'' huh? Uncle, i don't get you leh. how can paper turn into cash? ''
Uncle: '' Of course can la. Aiya, i no time to talk to you anymore. The Singapore Pool is closing in 5 mins time. I better rush there so I have money for tmr lunch. ''
Me: '' orh. hey uncle be quick. A lot of people at the shop already!~~''
I went to XXX primary sch and continue with my survey.
Me: '' Hey SMALL kids, do you know what this paper is? ''
Kids: '' Yes! My ah ma, ah gong, papa, mama, maid always use pencil and draw draw here and there. ''
Me: '' Oh, so u all mean is a drawing paper for adults?''
Kids: '' No... its a betting slip. ''
Singapore Pool is Good. Why? They do charity things okay. It is beneficial to the society.
In some charity program, we often hear : ''Ladies and Gentlement, we thanked Singapore Pool for generously donating US$100 million to the NK*''
actually, i wondered at time. They should change it to
''Ladies and Gentlement, we thanked all putters in putting money in hoping to win more money. But in the end, they lose more money to Singapore Pools. Without the putters, we dont have Singapore Pool. Without them, we are not able to receive this large sum of donation. ''
We are often talked not to gamble. We are not allow to gamble with illegal bookies. We are not allow to bet illegally.
BUT dont forget, we can always turn to Singapore Pool.
Bookie: '' Aiya, Now-A-Days, I dont have good business leh. Esspecially the World cup 2006. ''
Me: '' Why brother? ''
Bookie: '' Why? chey... Now Singapore Pool even offer betting on World Cup lah''
Me: '' But you all can have credit.You all just call can settle already. No need to pay up straight. ''
Bookie: '' Boy, you think Singapore Pool got so stupid. They also offer credit. They also offer you to just SMS can already. ''
Me: '' But you all the odds is higher. mean can win more ma. ''
Bookie: '' Boy, Singaporeans no balls. ''
Me: '' huh? betting on soccer, why u say no ball? then how to play?''
Bookie: '' no lah. I mean Singaporeans scare this & that. If they kana got caught? How ? Who going to feed them when they are in jail? You ar? How? You tell me how? ''
Me'' orh. Bye.''
Bookie: '' hey boy, dont go away leh. Tell me how? how? how am i going to Survive? Tonite got liverpool VS Manu. U wanna bet?? hey... dont go leh...!!!''
But if youy guys look carefully, money will be going to S-League (singapore league). So that make us being one of the shareholder? because we contribute to Singapore Soccer....
We invest in Singpaore soccer. So if they win World Cup in 2100... mean i have play a part?? will I be rewarded?? wait.. did i say win world cup in 2100...
No no .. i mean Singapore leg in America series, as in the ang mo come Singapore as one of their pit stop in around the world... since when can mediacorp afford 1 million price money leh...
Singapore being one of their race around the world... so who will become the one who say ''Welcome to Singapore''? and what are the things they will be doing in the lion city.. all will be revealed...
Contestants will fly in from Brazil, where Singapore hopes to acheive the same success as brazil.. grabbing the world cup in 2100?? After enduring hours of flights, the contestants make their way around... Singapore- A global city??
''Taxis! Taxis!'' screamed all the contestants. Singaporeans looking at these bunch of ang mo, ''Seow ar? shout so loud, taxi a lot la... ''
Detour. Detour is whereby teams have to choose between ''Alive'' or ''Dead''. In Alive, contestants will have to search Through the many unqiue strange block of flats where Singaporeans live when they are alive. (that is why STB called us UNIQUELY SINGAPORE)The task is to search for block 38, somewhere around many thousands blocks of flats in Jurong. There, u have to climb all the way up to 18th floor and take the clue.
In Dead, Contestants have to make their way to Lim Chu Kang where they have to find this man in the picture among the many tombstones.
This is where Singaporeans live after they die. Once again, this is called uniquely singapore.
After receiving their next clue, the contestants realize that they have to make their way to the pit stop. GEylang. Hotel 81. famous for its red light district. colourful night life here. Think you will easily find your way in about 5 hotel with the name of Hotel 81 along geylang road...
One team had a chat with the taxi driver and realise how ''good'' singaporeans english were...
Team A: ''hey dude, we want to make our way to gelyang hotel 81 asap.''
Taxi driver: '' semi (what) is dude? can eat one not? huh? asap? ASAP- Apply to Sing At Parkway? why you want to go marine parade when you ask me to take you to Geylang. U not joining Superstar rite? the singing audition is at Tao Payoh. You want me to show you around Singapore? i charge only US$90 per hr. ''
Team A: '' yea right, No thanks uncle. Not going to sing. Btw, u guys copy My country of America Idol version . ASAP- mean as soon as possible. ''
Taxi Driver: '' Huh? Now you want me to turn right? But... But geylang should go straight, using CTE, PIE, then ECP. ''
Team A: ''nono... i mean correct (right). Whatever. Uncle, I am on a RACE. RACE!~ ''
Anyway, the team A reaches the pit stop at geylang last. They are booted out of the race. all thanks to the taxi uncle who bring them tour around in their cab.
All the other teams get to have a night rest at Singapore famous budget hotel- Hotel 81. what to do - Unqiuely Singapore
After the race, team A blame the taxi uncle.
The taxi uncle was been interviewed by CNN and he commented: '' I Din know it was a race, i only thought of helping Singapore Tourism and showing them around here. The economy is bad.. i need cash. You cant survive it without here... '' He was still beaming as he hold the US$90 he charge for the ride.
if only i can make this into a podcast.... keke. For more show, pls log on to www.Amazing race-singapore.com
guys look at this picture... IMF 4 million smile... look carefully!!!
Imagine 4 million humans smilling at you ( IMF delegate)
Security Guard: Smile
Waiter: Smile
Taxi Driver: Smile
You: smile
I: Smile
Dog: Smile
Foreigner: ''hey friend,Where's the toilet?''
Toilet attentant: =) Smile
Foreigner : '' i think this auntie dun understand english. Hi Sir, you know where is the toilet? ''
Sir: =) Smile
Foreigner: '' Maybe he understand chinese only. Hoo.. this volunteer shld know. Where's the toilet?
Volunteer: =) Smile
Morale of the story- Singapore is a smile country?? where you receive smile as the ans... ?
My parents just quarrled over a $300 bucks water filter system.. our neighbour selling it to us.. my mum was been given a sales talk for 2 days.. but my mum did not want to buy. I was their next target.. talk to me for 20 mins... how good the filter was... sayin put that, and u can drink tap water directly and cure a lot of illness... what so mircale? since when singapore tap water cannot be drink... rubbish. my mum and I did not appear to be intrested...
but they talk to my dad for 10 mins, my dad took out $300 cash and give it to them... haiZ... =((( why so easily give out cash... my mum was very angry and i suffer as a result of the arguement... i was the middlemen... i m so sick ever since this april when the sch sem start. Right now, sch sem ending, the family is still.... haiZ.
So this got to do with today topic of love. Family love to be exact. My brother currently in NS, know of the economic condition, give his $400 out of $650 NS salary to the family. So touch ar.. whats more.. he say he even secretly put in cash every week into my dad, mum, and mine wallet... no wonder I keep thinking why i have so much money... all along, i thought it was from my betting Singapore pools money i won. My brother even wrote a note: '' Stop betting on soccer. Betting sure lose. 9 out of 10 gamblers lose. I WARN YOU. '' Hmm.... this is call brotherly love. Yupz, i know betting no good... but to me, it is a form of stress relieve. When u win, u will feel good...
So many things happen within this sch semester at home, how i wish it can be over soon... Why talk about divorce when 2 ppl have been living for 28 yrs and counting.. why married in the 1st place if both personality are so different... why make each other sad? why not give in at time and try to understnad each other situation? Why say 'I Do' when u dont last time when getting married? Marraige is a long relationship. LOVE will hold 2 people together tightly ya???
moving on to Teenage love, Listen to 933FM and the DJ was helping this boy to woo this girl in his class... this boy wrote in to ask how to win the girl heart... 1 human call in and say tell her face-2-face. the other human say write her a letter. But the DJ, like me think make friends with her fren 1st, from there.. make more presence of yourself to her... anyway.. whatever.
Do you guys think teenage love will last? maybe ya... but i met one friend and he has been in many relationshipsss( actualli 4 i tink, not much as compare to now people easily have 10 relationship or more). He told me being in a relationship now is like for fun... FUN??? if you nv try, u nv know if it will last he told me. He say break then find another one lo. He seem like playing game ar.
Why not just find 1 or 2 gf and married off to the girl thta is destined... and why bother to have gf when u have the mindset that it is for fun... his gf must be poor thing, cos this boy treated so many girls the way he treated her, this girl still think she is speical. Actualli, it is just like any other girl.
Why not human give their partner (special one) to have the experience of being the only one in their heart... To me, a perfect love is finding someone who you know you will be serious with, with marriage in mind... woh you can get along after u marry... not quarrel. true love.
Singapore has lots of shopping centres. As you can see, Orcahrd Road is a shooping paradise for all humans here... eh, sounds like doing tourism project ya... whatever.
Singapore Welcomes you to IMF Sept 2006. pls come here and shop and spend money. We need it. Singapore is a nice country, come come come visit us.
Now about taking photos, firstly, my mum trip back from China recently, notice that her photo taking skills really need to improve. Tips on taking photos:
- Dont take phots when the sunlight is facing you. The person in the picture will be dark.
- Stand away from all crowds, be the first or last to take photo. Ensure no one spoil your photo.
- Be aware of the background. At time, when u go to tourist attractions, there sure to be loads of ppl.
- Be quick, precise, and execute the shot prefectly. Dont shiver.
- Take picutres of the locals, their way of life, be alert. Take interesting pics.
- Dun just keep taking of oneself, (NOTE: esspecially if u have an ugly face. ) Whaha.. =)
- Hold your breath when taking photos.
- For more tips, pls contact 1800-Jaren for more info.
Read Mr brown blog. his blog damn fuckin funny ar... cool. faster go listen to his video if u havent. How to prevent taxi drivers from bad mouthing Singapore during IMF period? having electric shock for every word taxi driver say.
Example:
(Taxi) : Singapore is a (bad) ZZzzz.. Good good good place
(Customer) : huh? REally meh, uncle?
(Taxi) : No, actualli i have been ( force to say that).. yaya... Singapore No.1 place
(customer): Are u having electric shock?
(Taxi): aLL thanks to the (*****) wonderful goverment...
Next post will be on : love?
anyway, i am in temasek team B. and the way it says looks like we represent the whole poly.. lolX, and wow... FIFA cum FAS (football assiocation of Singapore) refree.. i thought of buying them drinks and give them in the small room...
anyway, so crowded.. the intense competition. feel the heat. feel the adrealine. its rock and roll time. and there we are, Team A win the 1st match.
and now is our turn. we VS a team from china.1st match, i was a left backdefender. result: lose 4-0. oh my.. how can we lose to such a score!! haiZ... the refree was at least quite good ar... give freekick when the stupid striker hit my leg. shld give yellow card ar. dangerous play. but we shld do better overall.
then 2nd match lose 3-0. this time, the coach ( Mr Lee) ask me to be midfield.. i have the green light to shoot as many as i can outside the pen box. and true it come.. i got the ball, dribble past one, past two, (actuali, a bit luck), and SHOOT. 'OUT' argh.. that is the cloest i come to. just the side of goal post...
3rd match,lose 1-0. now there is this grp of fun malays... crap a lot... talk jokes... cheering anyone on the field. and so this is the time to impress... hopefully, there is S-league coach.. tag my board if u intrested on player jersey no: 3 that's me. lef back defender!~~ slide. rough tackle flew all over from me.. and that stupid refree again.. din give me cards..i purposely hand ball cos the ball was going into goal and pretend to fall down.. so MR refree cant see, and true, he cant see or else it will sure be a red card and penalty ar. but cos i tackle the ball ma, not people.. whaha... so fun to have ppl cheering and clapping every ball you slide, or tackle or clear ar..
my team captian went to surround the refree and 3 refree quickly came and talk to us. whaha.. drama. everyone turn their attention. not happy ma. the FAS refree also like not happy. both want to fight. whatever.
Jersey number 3: left back. remember to leave your contact no. down if intrested me as your team defender.. lolX.
no, its not fun! sorry, shld say how i wish 21 sept would come quickly, only then i complete my IMF job, cash at hand, holiday, EPL.. whaha...
anyway, my mum and ah ma went to china yest. so u can say my life is sort of care-free now... lolX... dun need to come back early. and so, i reach home abt 3am last nite.. with my poly humans at candice hse ya.. makan, watch movie, rotting around. lolX.
play mahjong at my hse??? better make it quick. no one in my hse for this week... zhixiu, fang rui, tze shuen... mahjong!!! i need to make big bucks ... lolX.
and ya soccer on wed, fri, sat, sun. oh gosh.. my foot gonna hurts soon i know. Sunday will be the BIG day for my soccer (TAS) team. wow.. so sickening. cos still need to wake up early. the tournament start at 8am. so early, sunday still need to go back sentosa. sianZZ...
and we will be having 7-a side soccer matches. the 1st grp phrase, we will be playing 3 matches ya... then hopefully can advance to second round.. and so on.. but i dun think so to be frank. i am in Team B and i feel that actualli the players among us don't gel. no team work. no team morale there i feel. so HMm... anything. just for fun. but have a feeling of losing. but we never say die till we try.
and ya it states that each match is only 10 mins, no extra time, no injury time, nth at all. just a freaking of 10mins to determine the outcome of the match. Mr Lee still say both Team A and B have an equal chance of going into second round. playing sort of league type ar..
and 1 red card= out of the tournament, cannot play any single match. what the hell.. i sure kanna get at least one yellow card ar.. see the way i play. sliding tackle ball... whahah.. even i have been warned to play cautiously. but cannot ar.. my playing style expect me to change meh... try ar. how to not slide the ball/ sliding tackle during a soccer match... hope the refree does his job well tmr. see properly, dun anyhow show cards to me.
the Only Thing that stand between a person and what they want
in life are the will to try it,
and the faith to believe it's possible
xxxxx jaRen –Yong jiA--
xxxxx 20 yrs old
xxxxx TemaseK polYtechniCcc
xxxxx Tourism Student (hospitality)
xxxxx Kem football club member
xxxxx Sentosa Academy football club member
xxxxx Wheel chair ( lammers)club
xxxxx SEA River Club
xxxxx Jersey no: 11, 3
xxxxx ex-manjusri wushu club
xxxxx love his ah ma
Kem soccer club
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