Dear Diary,
haiz. there's a fact that I cant deny myself: For the past 8 months, i have NEVER BEEN HAPPY BEFORE

i thought i can bluff myself by appearing happy, nthing much happening... but deep down my heart, i can't. Somehow or rather, there is always smth heavy in my heart. anytime anywhere.

at around 1am, i heard my mum crying at a corner. i knew smth is wrong and went to console her. i koe she has a lot of things in her mind.. i was just her emotional support. talk with her, lent a listening ear.

office politics. family. health. so many problems. i know she not happy working in that company. but what can i do or rather she do? at age 48, who would want to employ and how much would be the salary be... all these back stabbing, office politics.. dirty tricks behind your back in office, gossips... it only makes me more determine to succed in life.

i always try to be focus when it come to school work. i want to do well in my diploma and go into oversea uni. i want to be someone where ppl can look up to.

i dont want to follow in the footstep of my parents. my dad hands pain, all over plasters. all i can do is massage him to lessen the pain and other than that, i really don koe what else to do. my mum so stress in work... i can only lent a shoulder for her to cry on. but when i sad, who can i talk/cry on? perhaps my online diary. though the diary has no response, but at least, is a budren off my mind i feel.

my ah ma has been hinting to me that she want to go malaysia and so we decide to go this sat.
but in fact, i am so tired. so many project stuff work to do. but i koe, my ah ma really want to travel, and now she already 73 yrs old, if she can walk now, why not.. recently, i have been thinking how am i going to do if my ah ma who take care of me died... no idea why i have think of such stuff though. the least i can say is that i have keep her accompany whenever i have the time, talk to her everytime.. bring her out.

i feel so low in confidence now. i dare not face my relatives cos of the $ owe them... i dare not face my project mates cos i feel i dont do well in projects. i dont sare face strangers/ passer by cos i dont have the confidence to even look up. when one confidence is low, its really just... argh.

after talking with my mum, i think of so many things. what do people look at me? what am i in their eyes? am i a good friend? how can i improve myself? i somehow rather feel I am like very lowly regarded in my present class. i am not as happy as before.

Even when the slighest thing happen, i think a lot. why this, why that... for example: recently many of my friends celebrate their birthday. just this week alone, i think have 5 humans. and their birthday seem so nice to them. presents. dinner. company. but i think back mine, what did i have? i just casually tell to some of my fren that why i did not have this kind of celebration or present, and the ans was nextime. of cos , i dun blame my friends cos i koe if i am in their shoe, i would say the same thing. but i would really be Very very very happy if anyone can celebrate with me.

thanks diary for listening so much.

his cake

what a NICE cake... yummy!! somebody, i need more cakes.. anyway, if u all need advertisment, just leave your name here.. and i will contat you. Guarantee your advertisment will be the talking point... =D

eating cake

this is our dear mr. Teo kian siong eating his chocolate cake.. how disgusting can this be.. he shld learn more from his friend... Jaren... keke

went out with kian siong, fang rui, zilin, tze shuen & zhixiu (correct your name?).. fun and laughter.. thinking back those days.. sat at the cafe where i had my amazibg race at suntec city. where shi hui met her present bf??? ....

then ya quite fun. is meant to celebrate zhi and fang birthday. saw guang liang on the way. he dun looks so handsome as on TV. but still ya better than me in looks.. lolX.

my luck sux now. how could i lose when i abt to win? is not the 1st time. i am use to it le.

so let's now Dun talk about soccer. i am so SICK of it le. NO WORLD CUP.

Change to more melody tune. why not a love poem ya?

Unbelievable, how I use to say I love you
The places you need to know
Whenever I think of you
Let me show you now I am for real in love with you
If all the time and things can be reverse
One, you like a dream come true
Two, just want to be with you
Three, there are many things we can do together

How can i forget
Those happy times
Are you happy now?
I assure you will be happy if ya
There's someone on earth who think of you every hour
Once being with you
Showering you with love and care


argh. cant continue le.

wha... long time din come and post.

becos my com a bit siao siao. i cant go my blog for the past few days. internet connection error.

anyway, i also no mood le. i think smth abt Mr. Jaren is wrong. he watch soccer, sleep, wake up, predict, analyse, read soccer news.. his world now only contains SOCCER WORLD CUP.

and some more, he lose in bettings. (currently, S$50) but he hope to recover his losses. but he knew it will be a trap, the more he bet, the more he lose. yet, he want to try his luck.

actualli, i am afraid i will turn into a betting addict. a lot of ppl say le. but i dunno what keep me going to the betting outlet. i know i shld stop going. for the past 2 days, i nv bet. and i was somehow relax but feel smth is missing.

so i study. my accounting. but i dunno how to do the qns in lecture 6! haiz... always account dunno. sian.
then read news, then read tour magazines ( i m not sick , k ) and i will end up thinking abt which team to bet, who will win.

i realize that luck is really not on my side. everytime, when i am abt to win my bet, the team will score last min and i will lose. what a unlucky year.

i will quit betting. i will, but now lets just see how it will go.
Project is coming up. sch holiday is ending. but i feel that my projects does not progress much. concept map for spa project? how to do i go abt doin it???

anyway, my predictions:
Togo vs Switzerland (1-0 Switzerland win)
Spain vs Tunisa (2-0 Spain win)
Saudi vs Ukraine (1-1 Draw)

1 whole day at the airport today. 9am- 8pm. wonderful ar... sounds like working hr.

went for project upon chaplin request cos he is leaving for LA(USA) at 4pm. so we decide to do project early on 9am. but i knew somebody is gonna be late... ( i thought is me ) but is our dear miss Pam.

did marketing, spa, BESE, and Applied research meetings.. sounds a lot ar.. did for 4hrs ya?

then went makan... wha.. chaplin go oversea so many ppl come and send him off... as if he is going for oversea study.. =O i am so jealous! Lol. why i go oversea, no one come send me de? if have, i sure very happy... i will remember that person on board the plane.. forever. life is unfair as stated.

anyway, chat with keng kee and candice at the airport abt pur past bf/gf relationships. it has been so long since i started to chat on this kind of issue. but ya we saw this young couple kissing in public.. so passionate. lips interlockedwith each other.

the boys hands was touching her body all over la... so naughty ar. and so many ppl was at the viewing mall. it seems like a free show for us.

wanted to buy soccer bettings. rush to aljunied betting station. the uncle closes the shop le. sian. i wanted to buy (1/2) type eat the ball and bet on japan win.

but thanks uncle. i din lose $. or else my $40 will be gone flying.. and candice show me chaplin bettings. hahaZ. cant stop laughing. chaplin buy 4-4 (england Vs paraguay match) he bet $5 and if win, it will be $1500. but how can it? lol.

he also buy 5-1. Sweden lose to T&T. how can.. lol.

anyway, my predictions for the matches:
Italy Vs Ghana ( Italy win 2-1)
USA Vs Czech ( 3-0 Czech win)
Brazil vs Crotia (Brazil 3-0)
France Vs Switzerland (1-0 France win)
Korea Vs Togo ( korea win 1-0)

tml bettings:
Brazil --> 1.5 goal which mean brazil muz win more than 2 goals
Korea win togo ( 1X2) betting

wish me luck pal!

England sux like shit. my predictions England 3-0 win.

and what? England win 1-0 onlY!! not only that, its an own goal. sux.

England is forever England. win ppl by 1 goal, can play defence. early in the 2nd half, they play defence liao. i want to puke seeing them playin. what the hell. paraguay is like (sorry if u are their fan) like shit, but even they could threaten England. this mean england is worse than shit. Haiz... all the empty talk by england ppl again.

lousy is all i can describe. SHAME.

anyway, i am watching indonesia channel. watch till my eyes hurt cos the image is not clear... !! but what to do.. i NO cable tv. i admire ppl who have it. but they dun use it to the fullest extent. give me SCV, i will be happy 4 joy!

anyway, lose blackjack, lose mahjong to kenneth, zhixiu ( this time your name is correct ar), lose WORLD CUP bettings... haiz.

horoscope is so true. say i need better management of $ in the 2nd half of the yr. now is only JUNE...

next game predictions: Trinidad & Tobago Vs Sweden (Sweden win2-0)
Argentina vs Ivory Coast ( Argentina win 2-1)

Trust me now... okay, 1 last time i mean...

agenda:
sentosa... chalet Candice birthday thur-fri.

Sentosa. 4E outing. beach time!~

hey, i love beach is not becos i like to see babes ok... i love nature. i love fishing. i love sea. it brings back sweet memories.

eveeyday seem to be at sentosa. even though now is holiday for me now. one day sure sick of sentosa.

anw, hope to try many attractions in sentosa during the chalet ya? receive it peeps?

friday world cup!!
Germany VS Coasta Rica
3-0 to Germany. trust me. money back guarantte.

and Poland Vs Ecuador

Draw match, 0-0 i say trust me !!

World cup is back. but somehow, i dont feel any fire or the atmosphere there....

Teams i support :
South Korea
England ( i swear this is my 1st time. cos they have the potential this time )
Croatia ( they can be dark horse, do well)
Germany
Mexico

collected many articles, where to eat and enjoy the soccer match.... i realised some of the MaC. can watch soccer... so interesting ar..

I shall predict and see if it is accurate by Jaren:
(Team who advance from their group)

Grp A : Germany, Ecuador
Grp B: England, Sweden
Grp D: Mexico, Portugal
Grp E: Italy, Czech Republic
Grp F: Brazil, Croatia
Grp G: South korea, France
Grp H: Ukraine, Tunisia

Spain will go out in the 1st round. All Afrcia teams will go out. the best afrcia team would be Ivory Coast losing out on goal difference to Netherlands in their group. South korea is the only asian team to go into 2nd round.

Final : Germany Vs England

argh.... i am like every min online keep checking on the driving booking practical test.. cant find one suitable date!!

is like everyone competing. so difficult. imelda told me she is taking her test in 2 weeks time.. and me?? oh shit. i book the test in oct23. that is like 5 months away!! argh! so long.

it is simply becos there is no more space... booking FULL. i have to wait for ppl to cancel and SNATCH. notice i use the word SNATCH. cos when i spot a place, i have to immediately cancel and book that particular date. and by then, ppl have already book it. i wonder how many thousands of ppl are logging on to the driving website. so fast.

and I went to see my instructor passing rate is 22%. last month, 36 students take test, and 8 ppl pass. so scary ar. it mean failing is very common?? to think that he seem to be an experience instructor...

anyway, i learn my lesson now ... so friends, if you wanna learn driving, maybe hopefully, i think i am able to give u better guideline as in what to do.... now i feel like i am waiting to strike a lottery. cos i dont want to take my test on 23 oct!!

pls god. let me take test early and pass it. i want my license asap.

btw, theory books for sale!!! cheap. cheap. any humaN?

xxxxx jaRen –Yong jiA--

xxxxx 20 yrs old

xxxxx TemaseK polYtechniCcc

xxxxx Tourism Student (hospitality)

xxxxx Kem football club member

xxxxx Sentosa Academy football club member

xxxxx Wheel chair ( lammers)club

xxxxx SEA River Club

xxxxx Jersey no: 11, 3

xxxxx ex-manjusri wushu club

xxxxx love his ah ma