i really dunno what am i doin for the past few weeks ever since sch start in sentosa... i think i have been giving myself too much pressure, cos i want to do well in my diploma.

so many things going thru my mind at the same time... i dunno where to begin. but maybe because i am a failure? but just to tell myself, no human in this world is a failure.

right now, i feel my confidence level is low.. everything i learn, do... mostly are wrong. k, i dunno what am i talking about.

firstly, i feel that i am not a good leader in club, spa project... i feel that i did not lead my team members well... nv make them think more... nv boast up their enegry during discussions.. before that, i have planned what i wanted us to do. but now, all seem so wrong. as a leader, i shld inspire them, push them, think of ideas... but a simple FILA chat make my team goes so stress... ( or maybe that is just me alone) but i feel that i shld held up this responsible.

secondly, i feel like i am not talking much in class.. why??? i cant believe.. maybe the reason is i am too stress? thinking of many problems during lesson time? feeling so sleepy? nono!! i can't.. i must be more energetic. i dunno. but is like a BIG difference between sec school days & poly days. in sec sch, i was so energetic, always lookin forward to sch, making so much noise in class, talk and crap a lot... funny jokes... actions. i miss those days with fang rui, tze shuen, zhe wei, zilin & zhixui!

right now, i feel like i am a dumb fellow. sitting quitely in class, in deep thoughts...

during project, i find that i dont contribute so much as before... and what i Say is like mostly useless things.. that people don't bother to even listen.

accounting--> i dunno how to do... i have been doing, erasing, wrong, cracking my brain. haiz... am i really such a good for nothing guy? nono.. i cant say that of myself ... but haiz...

i am like dunno how to put my emotions into words... i have to do smth.

been thinking of family problems in class... then my driving ... having it on tml final theory test. if i cant pass, mean i have to wait for another 2 mth to retake test ? if i pass, mean i will to concentrate more in driving now.. so as to complete at least 20 practical lessons... but i dont have the time.. at nite drive ya.. but cannot all the time cos the test will be in afternoon.

then my CDS selection. there onli arts & japanese language. but i dont like jap. and arts.. cos i koe i simply cant draw least appreciate it. but i am intrested in french. i have been telling myself to take up french langauge. is imp i koe. that's y i plan to take it in 2nd sem. outside poly. like at night. who can i find ppl who wants to learn french? or i have to be alone to go clarke quay to learn french? then if i learn, i need to find a fren who speak it too... onli then i can do well in langauge.

and if learn language, will it be a finaicial budren? ppl will be laughing as they think how much it cost.. but from my parents point of view, it's like quite expensive. after so much problems in my heart.... i am having a headache...

- to make more frens
- to be more talkative like in my old days
- to do well in my projects.....

- take up langague, finish driving asap.
so many other things... ok, it's time to do my learning issue for spa... since i am the grp leader... i koe as grp leader i shld degelate the task, tell them what to do.... but now, =X

xxxxx jaRen –Yong jiA--

xxxxx 20 yrs old

xxxxx TemaseK polYtechniCcc

xxxxx Tourism Student (hospitality)

xxxxx Kem football club member

xxxxx Sentosa Academy football club member

xxxxx Wheel chair ( lammers)club

xxxxx SEA River Club

xxxxx Jersey no: 11, 3

xxxxx ex-manjusri wushu club

xxxxx love his ah ma